Raven in a Locket
by Yellow kiwi
Summary: Sasuke has to deal with his emotions and pain when his brother returns after years of being apart. It's going to be hard as he tries to get answers to his brothers actions, and he's own new feelings. AU Yaoi Incest
1. Chapter 1

A/n: This story is my first try at this couple, it just came to me and I wanted to post it. I hope you like it. It's an Au fic, but most of everything that happened to Sasuke is still the same. Anyway this is also based on some of my own experiences. It deals with depression. My sister had depression, so I'm kinda putting some of my own feeling in here. Though I did not fall in love with my sister like Sasuke will, lol.

PS: This is all in Sasuke's POV

**Warning**: Yaoi, Incest. This story deals with manic depression, murder and that's all I can think of right now.

Chapter 1: Welcome home.

I was young when it started. When my aniki wanted so badly to hurt himself and others. When I tried so hard to understand what's wrong. So hard to figure out, why the person I looked up to is acting this way. Why he always seemed to want to be alone, why there was always yelling going on between him and my father. And why he always made mom cry.

I couldn't figure it out, no one ever told me what was wrong until it was to late. My brother wasn't always alone though. I was with him, I was there trying to see if I could stop the yelling and the crying. Trying to get him away from our parents, and talk to me. Trying to act innocent, and trying to understand why. When I managed to get my aniki alone, just the two of us he was different. He never yelled at me, he never tried to make me cry. He didn't hurt me, and I stopped him from hurting himself.

My brother loved me back then….at least that's what I thought. That day it all changed, and it was all because of him.

_"Aniki…why?" Came my little voice, my innocent voice. I saw him in the middle of the living room, covered in blood. My parents were spiraled out bloody and dead on the floor._

"_Sasuke become strong. Stronger then me." Was all he said, he then walked into the kitchen picked up the phone and called 911._

They had blamed it on the medicine. That it wasn't helping, they had sued the company. But, in the end my brother was sent to a mental home. I was still in shock when this all happened. I didn't say a word to anyone. Deep down inside I wanted my brother to pay, I wanted him to die. His life be taken cruelly as he had done our family.

_"Sasuke become strong. Stronger then me."_

What had he meant? I wonder, did he see his own weakness? How shameful and pitiful he was for killing? Is that what it is? I don't know. I didn't think on these words for to long, my soul more concerned with dealing with the hate. The hate I have for him, the hate that will never go away. The hate he and I will have to deal with.

For today he and I will see one another again. I have gone back to not specking, mainly because everyone seems to ask about him.

"Sasuke you don't have to be with him. They could assign him to another foster home, if you like." Kakashi explains, as we drive down the street to my school. I say nothing to my guardian. We come to a stop in front of the middle school. The high school Itachi will be going to is right next door.

"Fine then. Are you going to come with me to pick him up this after noon?" Kakashi questions, I say nothing once again. I get out of the car, and close the door. I could hear Kakashi sigh, not liking the silent treatment. He had to deal with it for a year when he first took me into his home. And after that it took another year for me to really open up and talk about anything of interest.

"Are you not gonna talk all day?" Naruto asks me in first period. "At least you have a brother. Maybe you can start out fresh? Give him another chance?" I say nothing. Everyone seems to be on Itachi's side. Give him another chance. Why dose he deserve one? He killed our parents, he ruined our family. I'll never forgive him, and won't give him a chance at all.

My friend sighs and sits down. "You know the silent treatment won't stop me from talking to you. I'll blab and blab until you can't help but tell me to shut up." He says proudly, I glare at him. Today I was just not in the mood. Luckily the bell rang and teacher wanted everyone's attention. The class started.

Through out the day I was hassled by girls, or questioned about Itachi or my feelings by my one friend. I didn't like it, I shouldn't have come to school today. I didn't want to be around all these people, I just wanted to be left alone. I might skip tomorrow, convince Kakashi to let me stay home. I was just not up for this, but I made it through the day nonetheless.

When Kakashi came to pick me up I was glade. I didn't have much homework and I just wanted to go home and relax. Though my planes were soon ruined. "Sorry I can't drop you off at home first. The social worker needs me to fill out some crap and pick up Itachi right away." He explains. Not even moved in yet, and already Itachi is messing things up for me.

We drive up to the building I remember from childhood. I stayed here a day once, waiting for someone who would open their home to me. Kakashi did so, though I don't really know how he ever past to become a foster parent. I'm glade I didn't get stuck in a strange home that already had children in it. It worked out to my favor, to have Kakashi as a foster parent. We get out of the car, and walk into the building. We are seated, and Kakashi is handed some papers. I don't pay attention to what the two grown ups are talking about. I didn't really care. I look around and soon spot my brother. I narrow my eyes, as I look at him. He was behind a glass window, in a small room. He was on his own, and he looked down at the table he was sitting at.

I remember I was in a room like that, while I was waiting, but someone was waiting with me. Maybe because I was young. I don't notice that Kakashi was done and standing until someone entered the room Itachi was waiting in. He looked at them and got up, glancing in our direction.

The woman guides my nii-san to us. Once again words were exchanged, but I wasn't listening. Everything seemed mute. Though I know Kakashi was most likely greeting Itachi. Itachi said something back, and then took a short look at me. My eyes immediately narrow at him, upon noticing he was looking at me. His eyes dart away, as if nothing had happened as if he hadn't notice the obvious hate radiating off of me.

We then all walk out to the car. I take the front sit like I'm use to, and Itachi sits in the back. He looks out the window. Kakashi gets into the drivers seat, a wary look on his face. He must be thinking about how awkward and hard this will be for all of us. I'm not going to make it any easier. Everyone seems to be asking me to. Naruto had told me to give Itachi a chance. Kakshi had told me the same thing, when he told me about his release out of the hospital.

But none of them would be able to give me a good answer to my question, if I were to ask it. Why should I give him a chance?

* * *

What do you think? I really want to know, so if it's not to much trouble, review? Thank you. 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I'm so glad there are some people who like this, and were kind enough to review. Thank you.

And I got my beta back, yeah. So no bad or obvious spelling mistakes.

YW2500: Yuppers, i'm trying my hardest people. Complain to me and not her if there is anything wrong with this, kay? You guys rock!

Chapter 2: One chance is all they ask

It's been strange in the house, and I can see Kakashi is on his last nerve. He's tried everything. We eat dinner together, and on weekends we eat every meal as a 'family'. But not one word has come out of my mouth, and Itachi hasn't once said a thing to me. I think he knows better. It's been two weeks like this.

Now Itachi is enrolled in the high school next door. Today is Friday, and Kakashi said he'd be out. Meaning Itachi and me will be alone in the house. I wait outside, like normal for Kakashi to come pick me up. The car pulls up, and Itachi is in the front seat, I sit in the back.

"So I'll be leaving at seven-thirty, I don't know when I'll be back, ok?" Kakashi explains. He gets no answer. "I'm glad that's understood." He says with a little hint of sarcasm. When we get home we separate to go into our own rooms or, mind our own business. At seven-thirty, Kakshi announces that he's leaving. I continue to read in my room. I have a book report due next week. A half a hour pasts, and then my door opened. No knock no nothing, it just opened. Itachi walks into my room. I ignore him, and just read my book.

He sits down on my bed. I let out a sigh of announces. "What do you want?" I snap at him. Just really wanting him to get out of my room.

"You shouldn't jump to conclusions. Especially if you don't know all of the story." He says. He pulls something out of his pocket, and lets it slid down the cress of my book. He walks out of the door, no other word spoken. I glare at him, until the door clicks closed. What is it with him? Why can't he say stuff that makes sense? Why can't he talk like a goddamn normal person? I look back down at my book and notice something glitter. In the crack of my novel, there was a chain. I pick up the silver chain, and pull a locket out from behind my book.

I look at it. It had our family symbol carved into it. I open it up and see a picture and some writing. The writing on the left side read:

_Don't live in the past._

On the right was a picture of my mom and dad. I close the locket, anger coming over me. I storm out of my room, and into the room that belonged to my nii-san.

"Who the hell are you to tell me not to live in the past?" I tell my brother, he looks at me calmly, and it pissed me off even further. "Why the hell did you give me this?" I ask him, venom in my voice.

"I missed a lot of your birthdays." Is the only explanation he gives me. Anger boils inside of me. What does he want? Another chance? Is that what he's asking for? Like everyone seems to ask for him, now he's asking for it. He won't get one, a murderer never deserve another chance.

"Well I suggest you start living in the past, because that's the only place left you have a little brother." I hiss out at him and then throw the locket on the floor. I leave, and lock myself in my room. I try to calm down. I should have told Kakashi to let them assign Itachi to a different family. I don't want him here; I don't want him around me. I change my cloths, and lay in bed, watching my TV in my room. But there was still anger in the pit of my stomach, there was still hate. And I couldn't help when my mind wondered to the thought of my brother. After a while I start to get sleepy, and I turn off the TV.

I feel myself toss and turn in my bed. I am half awake, trying hard to escape my nightmare, but I can't. I can't fully wake up. I know I must be mumbling in my sleep. If only I could open my eyes but I can't.

"Sasuke! Wake up!" I hear and finally I manage to open my eyes. I breath heavily, and my eyes dart around the room. I look to meet Kakashi's lazy and sleepy eye. My guardian is holding onto my shoulder. I push his hand away and sit up in my bed.

"What time is it?" I ask him.

He yawns before answering my question. "It's three in the morning." He looks at me, now seeming fully awake. I don't make eye contact, feeling pitiful. I'm too old to be acting like this when I have nightmares. I shouldn't have Kakashi here in my room, I feel like some little kid.

"Was it a flashback?" Kakashi asks. I say nothing. "Sasuke, even grown men have this. It doesn't make you weak. It's called Post Traumatic Stress disorder." Kakashi explains. I don't say anything, but I do look up at Kakashi. Then I notice out of the corner of my eyes, Itahi standing by my door. I glare at him, with all the hate in my heart. _This is all your fault._ I think to myself. Kakashi notices my stare, and looks at the door. I don't notice what ever communication they give each other, but my brother walks out of sight.

"Are you alright now?" Kakashi asks, running his hand through my hair. I slap his hand away, annoyance clear on my features. Kakashi sighs and gets up, he leaves my room. The door doesn't close all the way, and it squeaks open just a little bit. So a very thin line of light shines into my room, from the hallway light. I get out of my bed, and walk to my door. I was going to close it but then I could hear voices down the hall.

"Hey, did Sasuke wake you up?" Kakashi questions.

"Yeah….."

"Don't worry, you two will get along soon enough." Kakashi's reassuring words were only answered with a sadistic laugh. Then the sound of a door closing is heard. I close mine as well, and crawl back into my bed.

The next morning I wake up, I feel something in the palm of my hand. I rub my eyes and look at my hand. It was the silver locket, Itachi had given me last night. I throw it on my desk, not caring were it lands. Going to my closet I pick out the clothes I'll wear today. Then I walk downstairs into the kitchen. Kakashi is in there sipping on coffee. My nii-san isn't in sight. I sit down at the table, after getting some breakfast. I start to eat and feel Kakashi's eyes on me. I look up, waiting for him to speak.

"Why?" He says simple. I give him a questioning look. "Why do you have to make everything so complicated?" I say nothing, just give him an evil look. I know what's coming. "What are you going to do? Never speak a word to me again? Only spit out rude or mean statements like when I first took you in? I dealt with it for a year, it doesn't bother me. You're hurting yourself by making this harder on yourself." I slam my hands down on the table, while I get up out of my chair.

"You don't know shit!" I tell him. Why am I getting lectured? Why is everyone on his side? Why is everyone defending him? Can't they see? He killed our parents, someone like him doesn't deserve defense.

"It's you who doesn't know! Sasuke, you can't bottle yourself up again. Why don't you talk to him? Why not give him a chance?"

I glare at him, for using that statement. For asking the same goddamn question. I couldn't help myself.

"Why should I give that murderer another chance?" I hiss out between my teeth.

He stares out, past me. I turn around to see Itachi standing there. He walks into the kitchen, and gets himself a glass of organ juice. Like he hadn't even heard what I just said. I sit back down, to finish my breakfast. Then head up to my room.

Why should I give him another chance? Why is everyone asking me to? He hasn't asked me, he doesn't seem to care. I look in the direction of my desk, and notice the silver locket hanging down, about to fall. Well, he hasn't asked me in words. Either way, I still hate him.

A/N: How was that? I hope Itachi wasn't OOC. Tell me if you think he was, and if you liked this chapter or not. Thanks.

YW2500: Sorry Y.K. but i have to promote myself. If any of you could check out my story Back In Konoha i'd be so greatful! It'd mean a lot to get your feedback along with the others who are reading it too. Thanks a bunch.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: A lot of people ask me if not maybe I would put one chapter in Itachi's POV. The answer is no, sorry. But you will get to see a little of Itachi's mind set soon.

Chapter 3: Hate and wonder

I finger the locket in my hand. I don't know why I don't just throw it in the trash. Maybe because it has a picture of mom and dad in it. I open the thing for the third time today. I'm alone in my room, no one has come to bother me. I'm sure they know better, after all I was pretty upset this morning.

I look at the picture and then look over the words written on the other side. Then I close it again, studying the outside of it carefully. I run my thumb over the deep carving in the front of the smooth silver. A knock comes at my door, and it surprised me a little. I throw the locket on my desk, and get up to answer my door. I find Kakashi on the other side. I go to sit down on my bed again, waiting for the lecture that is sure to come. My guardian comes into my room closing the door behind him.

"Come on Sasuke. Why not spend some time with him. He's all alone, he doesn't know anybody, and the town has changed since he last saw it." Kakashi says.

"It's not my fault he's a social idiot and that he was locked away for a couple of years." I spit out cruelly. Why should I be there for him? After all the time I spent with him when I was young. After the hours I was there to keep him company, if only to give him a reason to live for another day.

"Fine Sasuke I didn't want to pull this card out. But if you don't start acting at lest a little friendly to your brother, it's off to family therapy." I glare at Kakashi. "Just spend some time with him, with us. We rented a movie, will you watch it with us please? At least act like you want to make a normal family out of this." He says with a hint of desperation, after all he was trying to get along and make Itachi feel welcome .I get off my bed and walk down to the living room. Kakashi seemed pleased, and put in the DVD. The moment the movie started I new it was Itachi who picked it out. It was called Saw and I heard of it before, just never watched it. I didn't watch the entire movie, I couldn't stand it anymore. After a little bit I started to have flashbacks to the lifeless bloodied bodies of my parents. I go into the kitchen and get myself a glass of water. Trying to play off my uneasiness. I hate being like this, I hate always feeling so weak because of this. I drink my water, take in a couple of deep breaths, and tell myself not to be such a pussy about this.

"Something wrong?" I drop my glass and it shatters. The dark voice of my brother took me by surprise, and it angered me.

"Piss off!" I hiss at him, trying to clean up the glass.

"What's going on in there?" Kakashi asks from the living room.

"Nothing, Sasuke just dropped a glass." Itachi explains, in a taunting sort of manner. Or is it just my imagination? I accidentally cut myself while picking up the glass, but just shrug it off. I clean up all the little glittering pieces. Then Itachi takes my hand, I yank it away from him.

"Don't touch me."

"It'll get infected." He tells me, pulling me to a sink, and washing out my cut. I couldn't help but think that he would know. After all he's cut himself plenty of times, how many got infected until he made sure they were cleaned out good? I watch his fingers go over my cut, adding pressure to clean it out better. His hands look so smooth, so feminine, and I do nothing to stop this babying. I just watch in awe, as elegant fingers clean my cut. Then he turns off the water and reaches into a drawer to get out a Band-Aid. Which he then put over my cut, as lovingly as a mother would. This whole action pisses me off. Only just now does it register in my mind that he's treating me like some kid. I can very well take care of myself. I pull my hand out of his grip, which seemed to have lingered. I then give him a look of death, telling him very well I didn't need his help.

"It's ok to need some help sometimes Sasuke. If you don't ask, the problem just blows up." He says plainly, opening the pantry and getting out a bag of chips. Then he moves back into the living room. What the hell does that mean? I'm getting really fed up with his bullshit fragmented sentences. I go back into the livingroom, and Kakashi plays the movie again, which he had put on pause.

I sit there throughout the whole movie, but not really watching it. I wonder to myself, about Itachi. Why does he seem so hell bent on being around me? I don't want to have any kind of brotherly relationship with him, right? Of course I don't, I don't want him around me at all! And all the strange things he tells me, just like he did not too long ago in the kitchen. Does he want to confide in me? Give me a reason for his actions so long ago? I don't care what the reason is, I hate him. And he'll always be a murderer, no matter how much he may want to repent.

I was glade once the movie was over, and I could go back to my room and be in peace. I pleased Kakashi, and that's all I care about. So he'll stop worrying and nagging so much. That and I sure as hell don't want to go to family therapy. I went to sleep, where I was greeted by a memory.

_It was like I was watching from a distance. It was one of those nights, where the screaming and crying had just stopped. I was up on the top step listening in. My mom was begging Itachi to understand our father. The two had just gotten into another argument._

"_Please Itachi, you're a smart boy. Look at it in his point of view." She says, she just wanted peace in this house again. She just wanted everything back to the way it was, and was doing everything she could._

" _Why? Why can't he try and understand me instead?" He snaps at our mother._

"_I understand you're unhappy, but…" She doesn't have the chance to finish her thoughts as Itachi turns away. He walks up the stairs and I could hear my mom walk to the master bedroom. Where my father had gone to after practically exploding earlier._

_Itachi glares at me for a minute. Then a glimmer easily missed shined in his eyes. But his face still seemed so emotionless. "It's not polite to listen in on other peoples conversations." He tells me bending down to my level, and taping me on the forehead. After his fingers leave, my hand automatically shoots up to hold the spot he hit. I give him a glare, though it looked more like a pout at such a young age. He laughs and walks past me. I run after him, not wanting to let him out of my site. After the fights he always got even more depressed, and I always kept him company._

Sunday was pretty uneventful. Kakshi gave me my space, and Itachi didn't speak to me. It was a good day I guess you could say. But throughout the whole day I kept stroking the locket that Itachi had given to me. I keep opening it over and over again, and think back on my dream; my memory. I get angry out of nowhere and throw it against the wall. I don't know where the rage suddenly came from, but it was there. Was I upset because I couldn't put down the gift given to me by a killer? I turn off my lights, it was about nine o'clock so I'll go to bed.

I pull the covers over me, and am graced by dreams. Not flashbacks that always end up with me in a cold sweat, but actual dreams of sweet memories. It was a peaceful slumber, one like I've never had before.

My alarm wakes me up the next day and I get ready for school. The car ride was quiet, and the only words that left anyone's mouth was bye. Itachi was dropped off first, then me, Kakshi said goodbye, just like he had to my brother, but I say nothing in return. I walk into the school, not really wanting to be here. Then I go to my class, where Naruto is waiting for me.

"So how was your weekend?" He asks sweetly.

"Crap." I say plainly.

"Let me guess Kakashi wanted you to spend time with Itachi, right? I don't see how spending time with your brother is going to kill you." He says, seeing as everyone is on Itachi's side, and doesn't see my point of view.

"I see how it can kill me. He'll pull out a knife and stab me." I say emotionlessly.

"Don't be so hard on him."

"Everyone seems to say that. But why should I? He's a murderer after all and he knows it." Naruto didn't respond to that, just shook his head. Class soon starts after our little talk, and the school day seemed to drag on forever. I am both glade and irritated when I see the car pull up to pick me up from school. Itachi in the front seat like always. We drive home in silence and go our separate ways once we enter the house. I go into my room and start to work and the few pages of homework I have. A little bit before dinner Itachi enters my room.

"What do you want?' I ask rudely. He sits on my bed, and I can feel him staring at my back. I turn in my chair and glare at him. "What!"

"Still know nothing do you?" He states simply. I get pissed and get up. I tower over my brother, as I stand in front of the bed. He smiles at me, a sadistic smile.

"What is it that you want?" I hiss out. He smirks even wider and pushes himself up off the bed.

"Dinner is almost ready, set the table." I don't protest. Though he has no right to command me around like that. After a couple of minutes I go downstairs and indeed set the table. Dinner was awkward and annoying. I couldn't help but glance in my brother's direction. All these strange fragmented sentences he gives me, they were starting to really get on my last nerve. Why is he talking to me and in such a strange manner? I don't want to know I don't want him to confide in me. I couldn't care less if he would feel better if he told me of his sin. That's what a priest is there for, why not go to them.

Then there is a small part of me that wants to know. Why did he kill them? Why did he ruin our family? Why is it that he had to bring everyone down into his depression? Why did he have to ruin my innocence at such a young age? Why did I care for him so much back then, that I would stay with him all night; if only to make sure he didn't commit suicide. Why did he want to die, when it was obvious I needed him?

That I didn't want to lose my Aniki. But I have, the brother I knew is gone. He went away the moment the blood of our parents soiled his hands. And I wish I could have my old nii-san back. The one that needed me as much as I needed him. The one that always gave me attention when dad wasn't there to give it to me. The one that needed me to protect him from himself. I want to see if my old nii-san is still there. Still living inside that clouded crazy mind that now posses Itachi. Maybe I should spend time with him, only to see if I could find him. Or find out what drove him from depression to murder. Is it selfish? Because when he had depression, I understood him a little better. But after that night; he's just a puzzle of confusing sentences and different personalities, located in different pieces of my memory.

A/N: I hope this chapter didn't bore you. Anyway it needed to be written this way, because from this moment on the **angst** will rise. Itachi's behavior gets stranger, and Sasuke wants to know more about his 'new' brother, and maybe see if he's old one isn't still in there. Love will slowly bloom like a flower in winter, from this moment on. Sorry I'm in a poetic mood right now, lol.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Stranger yet

"Well I'm going out again, tonight." Kakashi says grabbing his car keys. "You two try to get along and have some fun, ok?" With that both me and Itachi tell him goodbye, Kakashi waves and then closes the door behind him. This is the second time he's left me alone with my brother. Though this time I do plan on spending time with him. I'll give him a chance, just this one chance. But this doesn't mean I'll ever feel the admiration and love I used to feel for him. No, he lost that and will never get it back. But seeing as we have to live under the same roof, and we're blood related, I should at least make peace. My hate for him will always be there, but he's the only family I have left after all.

"So what do you want to do?" I mumble to my Aniki. He then looks at me, emotionless to anyone who doesn't know how to read his expressions. But, I could tell he was taken by surprise by my question.

"Are you offering to spend time with me?" He states more then asks, but I nod. "Well there's not much we can do." He states and goes to sit on the couch. Then turns on the TV. He wants me to sit with him, though he didn't say so or make any gesture to it, I knew that's what he wanted. So I sit next to him. The stranger that is now my brother. Though he seemed to be the same, he also as obvious differences. Or maybe Itachi was always like this, maybe he always had the ability to kill. And, I just never noticed it till now.

I wanted to talk, says something, because the silence just bothered me. It was awkward and I wondered why Itachi didn't say anything. Usually he's the first to speak, even if his words make no sense. I watch the TV, Itachi had finally stopped on a channel. But it was still strange and uncomfortably peace. I find myself mindlessly pulling on the chain around my neck. Yes I'm wearing it, the locket he gave me. It's actually only the second time I've placed it around my neck this past week. I let the locket part of the necklace fumble into my hand. Then I stroke it, soon opening it only a bit, then closing it. Itachi seems to notice I'm playing with something.

"You're wearing it." He states a hint of joy in his voice easily missed by untrained ears. I say nothing, lost in a day dream. Yes maybe he's always been like this. After all the way he talks is the same. You have to listen and look closely to notice any sort of emotions, any sort of happiness. And I can pick those feelings out, because I've been around him in my childhood. I'm trained in picking up on the small hints in his voice and expressions.

Then a thought came to me, one that I didn't hope was true. I ignore it, after all he went to the hospital…is he so emotionless because he still has it? Does he still have his depression? No they wouldn't have let him out of the nut house if he did.

"Sasuke?" I look at Itachi, who was staring at me with wonder. I must have done something while thinking to make him worry, maybe my expression changed. After all I haven't yet completely master his coldness. I look at him for a bit, he turns his face to the television again. I narrow my eyes, it's unlike him to look away from anyone. He can usually intimidate anyone with his eyes and never averts his gaze.

I ignore it though, in favor of speaking. After all the quiet was starting to annoy me, and there was something inside that wanted to know. Is this still my old nii-san? "Why." That one signal word, it could mean so much…but, we both knew what I meant. And Itachi wasn't going to play dumb.

"Because not everything is as it seems, Sasuke. Just because a Kingdom seems to be at peace, doesn't mean there isn't a civil war." I knew that's the only explanation I would get from him, at least for now. Because deep inside he wanted to tell me, I know he's waiting for something. Maybe the right time, but he wants to tell me his reasoning. He thinks he could be forgiven then, or maybe he just wants the weight off his shoulders. But he'll tell me. It may take years, which I hope not, but he'll confine in me.

"What about you?" Itachi retorts.

"Me? I didn't kill anyone." I say with a hint of harshness in my tone.

"I meant, why let me back in your life?" He asks, I look at him our eyes meet. I stare into his cold, dark as coal eyes. I could have sworn there was a glitter of red in them, like the reflection of blood. Blood on the floor spilled so long ago. "I could have been assigned to a different foster home." He speaks again in his emotionless voice. This time not even I could hear anything but coldness. It made me feel confused and uneasy, that I have no hint to his feelings about this situation.

I get angry. "Why did you pick to come live here then?" Itachi smirked as if he had just won something. And maybe he did, after all I didn't answer his question.

I stare into the emptiness of his eyes, and don't notice him move his hand until he speaks. "Because I missed you, little brother." He explains, and runs his hand through my spiky hair. I finally escape those scary eyes and slap his hand away from me.

"I told you before not to touch me." I hiss. Itachi turns his attention back to the TV and it was silent again.

"I didn't care either way, where you where to go and live." I brake the silence by answering his earlier question. Nothing more is said, and we sit together. Like we use to so long ago….

"_How are you doing in school, Sasuke?" My father asks me, we were all at dinner._

"_He's doing great! I spoke to his teacher today." My mother chimes in, Itachi the whole time sat in stillness next to me. "She says he could even skip a grade…just like Itachi." My mom was wary of using Itachi as a comparison. After all she never knew what could set him off, what could start a fight. It was quiet for the longest time. Then my parents went back to speaking, about me. I looked worried in the direction of my brother._

_Noticing fresh cuts on his wrist as he put down his fork. When did that happen? I asked myself, after all I thought I was keeping a good eye on him. Itachi had skipped one grade, I think he never went to first grade. He started school at an early age. Not going to kindergarten in favor of second grade. He was smart, sometimes my dad would—in a hush tone, when he though no one was around to hear him—say Itachi was too smart for his own good. Aniki, was offered to skip even more grades, but he declined. _

"_Well that's just wonderful. I'm proud of you Sasuke. Are you going to take the offer?" My father asks me, I bring my attention to him._

"_I don't know yet." I mumble as an answer. Itachi then gets up, pushing his chair under the table. My father glared in his direction. As if warning him not to make a scene. Itachi saw this and only smirked at him._

"_May I be excused?" Came his emotionless voice._

"_Of course honey. Thank you for sitting with us." My mother said, smiling. Though my father didn't have the same kind look on his face. Itachi then takes his plate to the sink and rinses it off before going up stairs. Worry went through my little body. And I jump off my chair following him. He had fresh cuts, and I wasn't going to let him add anymore._

"_Sasuke?" My father questions me. I bow and then ask to be excused too. They let me but, I could hear my father mumble as I leave._

"_Itachi's such a bad influence on Sasuke." The door upstairs clicks, signaling that Itachi locked it. I climb the stairs as fast as my little legs could take me. Even stumbling on the way up. It was so strange, back then I loved my nii-san so much. He always made time for me, even before this whole sickness came over him._

"_Aniki?" I asked, knocking on the door. I got no response, I knock again louder. I do this twice more before the door opens. I was relieved. Why did I put so much responsibility on myself at such a young age? It's not my job as the younger brother to take care of the older one. Itachi leaves the door open and walks back to his bed. I follow closing the door behind me._

_We sit together for a long time, not saying a word to one another. Then I finally take his hand. I look at his wrist, though play it off as a childish hand game. Then I put both my hands over one of his, glad to see there weren't any more cuts then there were before._

"_I love you Aniki." I whisper out. Itachi doesn't respond, but picks me up, putting me on his lap._

"_Are you going to skip a grade?" He asks me._

"_I don't know yet." I say, just like I told my father. Then I feel something wet. I scoot away a little, and look at my brother's thighs. Red was bleeding through his light colored jeans. He had cut himself after all._

My eyes open only a little, and everything around me was blurry and dark. I must have fallen asleep on the couch. I then notice that I'm moving, and can hear footsteps. I tiredly move my head, to try and see what's going on. My cheek hits material and underneath is a heartbeat. Then a door is opened. I'm put on soft sheets and pillows. I still can't open my eyes all the way, and sleep keeps me from making out any clear images. I get tucked in, I feel like some child.

"Goodnight Sasuke." Is the last thing I hear before my eyes go back to closing all the way. It was Itachi's voice that uttered those words.

A/N: Aw so cute, isn't it? Please review, thank you.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Where does depression hurt?

I wake up to the sound of birds chirping outside my window. I stretch and get out of bed, to see I was still in jeans and a shirt. Then I remember what I thought was a dream. Itachi had carried me to my bed after I fell asleep on the couch.

I pick out some clothes and then go to the bathroom. I turn on the hot water and strip all of my clothes off. I step into the waiting shower. I let the hot water wash over me as I think back on last night. The small conversation Itachi and me had. I thought back to the possibility that he may still have his mania, that he's still sick. I don't know why the thought bothered me so much, but I decided I'd go and do some research. Though the possibility of the doctors letting Itachi out of the hospital if he wasn't cured was slim. It still bothered me. I had to be sure on my own. Because I'm not going to deal with the same shit over again. I'm not going to do what I did when I was little. I'd just wait and hope he'll cut a vein in his wrist and bleed to death.

I turn off the water, and put on my cloths. I walk down stairs, Kakashi must have just woke up. "Hey, Kakashi, drive me to the library." I demand, my guardian looks at me lazily. He lets out a yawn.

"Why do you need to go to the library?" He asks, sipping on his coffee.

"Because." Is all I say.

"Fine, let me finish my breakfast." He announces. I sit down and wait. I look around wonder where Itachi was. I shrug it off and when Kakashi was done with his breakfast he got his car keys. He wrote a note for Itachi and stuck it on the fridge for when he woke up. I guess he's still asleep then. Once I got to the library I separated from my guardian. I went to the medical section and look for a book on depression. Once I found a couple I brought the stack to a table. The first one I looked at had the title, "Bipolar; Manic depression."

This is what I overheard my father and mother talk about. They said my aniki had this and he was suppose to get treatment. I wonder if he did back then, I don't think I remember my nii-san ever having to leave to go to a doctor. I shrug it off and flip through the book, until I get to a list of the symptoms. I scanned through them, only certain ones stood out…

Feelings

Irritability, excessive anger over trivial things, overreacting to stimuli (the list went on, but this was the only one that seemed to fit to my aniki)

Thoughts

Inflated self-esteem, grandiosity, thinking one is more powerful than one really is

Loss of touch with reality, hearing voices (hallucinations) or having strange ideas (delusions)

Those were the only things that really stuck out, but I picked up another book in titled "Depression hurts". Once again I flip to the list of symptoms and it sounded more like the way Itachi acts now and how he used to be. I read through the list, intrigued by how many of the symptoms fit to Itachi, or is it just my imagination?

Feelings

Loss of feelings for family and friends

Inability to experience pleasure, or have fun

Thoughts

Loss of touch with reality

Thoughts of suicide and/or homicide

Behaviors

Withdrawal from social contacts

I close the book, my eyebrow nit together in thought. So…my parents though he had manic depression. If that's what was on his medical records, then when he was taken to the hospital after the murders, is that what they treated him for? But he didn't have that many of the symptoms. It sounded more like he had depression, he wasn't manic. I close the books and put them back where I got them from. Then I sit at the table, thinking. Would it make a difference of what depression they treated? Wouldn't they catch the mistake? Is Itachi still sick?

I get up and put my hands in my pocket. Why am I getting so bent out of shape about this? Who cares if he's still sick. As long as he doesn't kill Kakshi or me. Like I said I'll just sit back and hope he slits his wrist and drains himself of all his blood.

I go to find Kakashi in the part of the library I expected him to be. The 'romance novels'; the more graphic ones. "I'm ready to go."

"Ok.." He says his nose still in the book, he walks up to the Liberian to check it out. Then after that we drive home. I still think about the possibility of Itachi still having depression. After all I haven't spent that much time with him, so I can't come to any conclusions. I'll have to keep an eye on him. Not because I care for him, but because I don't want his illness to ruin my life again.

I go up to my room. How will I be able to keep an eye on Itachi, without him becoming suspicious, or him having false hope. I still hate him, yes I gave him a chance yesterday. Yes I spoke to him, but the hate is still there. And I suppose it always will be, I myself don't want it to go away. After all, he doesn't deserve anything but my hatred. For all the things he's done, like take away my family, take away time for myself. He's drained me, when I was little I was so worried for him. But, not anymore, now there's only hate. Now I couldn't careless if he wants to kill himself. I'm not giving him a reason to live, I'd rather encourage his death, his inner turmoil at least. Yes I want him to suffer for what he did. Maybe wishing him death is a little extreme, but I do want him to pay. For taking away our mom and dad. Let him be depressed, let him loath himself as much as I do.

"Sasuke?" I jump a little bit out of surprise. I look at the door to see my brother.

"What?" I ask annoyed."

"Lunch is ready, Kakashi wants you to join us." He explains coldly. Then drifts off down the hall, leaving my door open. I follow the elegant figure. All the while studying him, to see if I can't find a sign of his illness. The way he walks brings back memories. My aniki always had such an elegance about him. When I was little I would always think of him as a geisha. He walked slowly in small steps, giving you a false sense of helplessness. Or maybe he is, maybe he is helpless to a point….

"_Sasuke become strong. Stronger then me."_

I shut my eyes, as if that would stop my mind from showing me the image of that night long ago. Of course it didn't. I open my eyes again to only find my brother staring at me. He then turns swiftly to walk down the steps and to the kitchen, me not fare behind. We all sit down, lunch is quiet. Seeing as I was studying my brother for any cuts, Kakashi had his nose in the book he had just gotten, and Itachi sure as hell wasn't going to start up a conversation.

I sit on the couch, it's about three o'clock. Itachi is next to me, painting his nails. I watch him do this, I haven't noticed any cuts. But I'm sure that my brother isn't healthy, I can just tell. But at least he's not as bad as he used to be, so I'm safe here with my brother. But for some reason I still felt concern, for what I didn't exactly know. Maybe it's him? No, of course not I could care less about his safety. I sigh watching as Itachi runs the brush over his nail leaving purple nail polish behind. Well I could understand my uneasy feeling, my strange concern. Just because he seems fine doesn't mean he won't snap. After all he seemed fine and incapable of murder when I was young, but he did it. There was a small fear in my heart and the concern lingered too. Yes that must be it, that's the reason for my worry.

"Is watching me entertaining to you little brother?" Came the emotionless, indifferent voice of the man next to me. I just snort and turn my head to the TV. There's nothing to worry about, Iachi's stable…..I tell myself, but it doesn't seem to ease my worry.

* * *

A/N: Sasuke doesn't know it yet but he's slowly starting to care for Itachi, shhhh. Don't tell him. Anyway, this chapter is mainly based of my own thoughts about my sis. I did at one point dislike her after her 'treatment'. Also she was diagnosed with depression, but I have come to my own conclusion that she's actually manic and still is. So it's the opposite of what I wrote in here. Just little fun facts, I thought I'd share. Please review. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: the little things

It's been two weeks and this whole time I've been keeping an eye on Itachi. I've reassured myself that he's not depressed anymore, or if he is, it's not to an extreme. Yes he may not be that social, and doesn't smile, but there are no other signs of him still being sick. And I do suppose he is social with me. Though I don't know how he is at school.

It's Saturday and Naruto had asked me to come watch a movie with him. I agreed, I don't need to be cooped up with my brother every weekend. Kakashi said it would be all right and I was glad. Now if only I could get Itachi out of the house too, I don't think he's wondered farther than school this whole time….But then why is it any of my concern if he likes to lock himself in the house? Let him do what he wants.

Iruka had dropped me and Naruto off at the theater. "So how's it going with your brother? Gettin' along better, I hope." Naruto asks.

"I don't really talk to him that much…so guess I can't complain."

"But you're talking, that's good. I mean you can't hate him forever." My friend explains, as we walk into the theater, the movie would start any minute. And it did once we found a set. Can't hate him forever, huh? I don't know, sometimes it feels like I could. I just don't have the same connection to him. He's just not my Aniki anymore, he never will be. Because my Aniki wouldn't kill anyone. I stop my depressing thinking and just watch the movie. I went out with Naruto so I could get my mind off of my brother.

At the end of the movie, Naruto came out of the theater laughing. Recalling all the funny parts of the movie and telling me to lighten up. While we were standing, waiting for Iruka to come pick us up again, I actually cracked half a smile. Much to my friends enjoyment. Then we talked about things, like normal teenage boys talk about. Not once was Itachi brought up in the conversation and I almost forgot all my worry about him. All the pain and discomfort of having him back.

When I entered my home at ten o'clock it was eerily quiet. I supposed that everyone was asleep until I heard a small moan coming from the upstairs. I stiffened at the sound, a disturbing thought that involved Kakshi ran through my mind. I shake my head and go up to my room, hoping I wouldn't hear anything until I'm under the covers and fast asleep. But of course the sound came again, sending a strange shiver down my spine. As if a moan of relief rather then pleasure and it didn't come from Kakshi's bedroom.

Anger boils up inside of me as I go to the bedroom of my brother. I grab the handle, only to see the door is locked. The sweet soft sound of relief came again. And that same tickle crawled up my spine. After that sensation came panic, my emotions were all mixed up and I didn't know why. All I knew is that I wanted into that room badly. I felt like a kid again, wanting to stop Itachi from hurting himself again. I stop my frantic knocking at the door, which I just now notice I was doing. I take in a deep breath and ask myself why. Why am I standing here? Why should I care?

Then the door opened up and my brother stood over me. "Sasuke? What is it?" Itachi asks me softly panting, as if needing to catch his breath. I look at my brother, he was straight in his pajamas. I narrow my eyes.

"It's nothing." I say plainly looking at my brothers pants to see any sign of blood. When I don't see anything I turn and walk to my room. God why did I react like that? Hadn't I said I didn't care if he were to drain himself of blood? Then why is there such worry in the pit of my stomach? I shrug it of as worry about my used to be comfortable home. I didn't want this all to turn back to what it was like when I was young. Though I never showed it, I appreciate Kakshi. And I wouldn't want my brother to drag him and me into his depression again. Because a sickness like that effects everyone, not only him. I close my eyes, wanting to escape all these troubling thoughts.

_Yelling; that's all that I hear. It's Itachi and my dad again. I listen close to their argument._

"_Take the goddamn pills Itachi!" My father yells._

"_No! They don't help!" My aniki yells back._

"_Damnit Itachi, why would we get them if they didn't help? Why would they be on the market if they didn't help!"_

"_They don't, some fucking idiot came up with them!"_

"_And you would know how to make them work, wouldn't you? 'Cause you're just that damn smart!"_

"_Isn't that what you wanted me to be? A prodigy?" There was a long silence. Then the calm voice of my father came._

"_Please just take your medicine. Do you really want to hurt yourself like that?" Once again silence. "Think Itachi, you're hurting us all. No one wants to see you this way. Please take your pills, if not for me then for Sasuke." The arguing then stopped and I could here the sound of running water. _

I wake up to the sun shining into my bedroom. The memory that I had just dreamed, it was lost to me till now. After all, I can't remember everything. I sit in my bed thinking once again. So my Aniki took pills, but which depression was it treating? The one they labeled him with or the one I think he really has….Maybe it was the medicine that took my old nii-san away from me.

I get out of my bed, telling myself I don't care. That none of this concerns me anymore and as long as Itachi hurts himself and not anyone else it will stay that way. It's nothing I have to worry about….but then why do I worry for him? For that murderer, isn't this just what he deserves? A tortured existence, to pay for what he's done?

I get ready for the day and then walk downstairs. To eat some breakfast. Itachi was sitting at the table, Kakashi was in the living room watching the news, a cup of coffee in hand. I put two slices of toast in the toaster and wait. I glance over to Itachi, who's just drinking a glass of juice. When the toast pops back up I put them on a plate and put jelly on them. I also get myself a glass of milk, then sit down across from Itachi.

It was quiet for along time, but then my brother put down his glass. I couldn't help my eyes from wondering to his face. He was looking directly at me and I avert my eyes.

"Why were you at my door last night?" He asks me calmly, picking up his glass to take the last sip of his juice.

"I though….I heard something is all. But I must just have been hearing things." I say. My brother looked at me, a slight hint of surprise, or is it embarrassment in his eyes. I couldn't tell from the short time he held the emotion. His cool uncaring demeanor came back quickly. He put away his glass and then walked out of the kitchen. My eyes follow him, he was taking those little geisha steps as he glides across the room and out of my sight. I then go back to eating my breakfast.

Later on in the day, I was talking to Kakashi. Itachi was up in his room. "Sasuke, I'm proud of you." My guardian states, I say nothing. "For at least acting civil around your brother." I still don't speak and the rest of the time me and my guardian watch TV in silence. But that little bit of worry was still inside of me and I was wondering about Itachi's strange behavior this morning. I really just want everything to be normal, is that to much to ask? I don't want to repeat what happened in my childhood.

A/N: Was Itachi really cutting himself? Or was he doing something else? Anyway please review! Thanks! I also won't be updating until after December thrid or so.

P.S Sorry for the shortness


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Jealous?

It's calm in the house, peaceful. I sit in my room, fingering the silver locket in my hand. The sound of it clicking open and close the only sounds to be heard. Kakashi had gone to the store not long ago. To get something for the dinner he was making tonight.

I'm not concerned about Itachi's sanity. I haven't checked for cuts or suspicious behavior in weeks. I could care less, it's not my job to look after him. Though I think back to my reaction not to long ago, when I heard those noises from Itachi's room. When I though he was doing it again. It seemed like it was my concern then…. The sound of music comes from the direction of my brother's room. It's rock music, I can't really tell who is singing or what they are singing about. But a strange feeling courses through me as the mumble of the tune passes through the thin walls, along with a voice. The voice was loud so you could hear them over the music.

"It's Rammstien. I though you might like him." A friend…. a friend of Itachi's I would have never though my brother would have the ability to make friends. But, I can hear the proof loud and clear coming from his room. It's a boy, or at lest I think from the sound of his voice. But I saw Itachi lead him up to his room, and his friend looks very much like a girl. Long blonde hair and a feminine face. Though I couldn't tell if he had a female figure underneath the baggy clothes he was wearing. The click of my locket echoes in my ear, louder then the music playing in Itachi's room.

I lose track of how long the music was playing or how long I continued to fumble with the silver locket, given to me by a murderer. But soon that killer was in my doorway, "Sasuke?" I focus my eyes, so I no longer have the far off look I must have been wearing. I look at him, the shell of my Aniki. I look at the locket in my hand, it was open. The picture of my parents looking back at me, the words, _don't live in the past_, begging to be read. And I couldn't understand why this locket seemed so important, or how I couldn't bring myself to tear my eyes away from it. Or this strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, that felt like worry but was different….What am I worrying about? A hand rests on my shoulder, and I'm pulled out of the strange trance I was in.

"Dinner is ready, Sasuke." Came the cold voice of my brother. I nod my head and get up, walking out the door past Itachi's friend; who was waiting for my brother. At the dinner table there was a lot of talking, but I didn't really listen to any of it. I just ate my food and once I was done I put away my plate and excused myself.

I sat in the living room and watched TV. But confusing thoughts soon come up again. My mind seemed to be teasing me, pointing out flaws and weaknesses in my reasoning. Pointing out all the behavior that proves the hate for my brother is wrong. I think back on all the times I've ever banged at my brothers door, in worry that he's hurting himself. And how I repeated the same action, only a couple of weeks ago. Soon a lot more images from past and present flow in. I shut my eyes as if this would help stop the flow of memories. Memories of a time where I loved my brother, where my aniki wasn't a cold-blooded killer.

Then it all seemed to slow down, as the images of my dead parents come back. The words spoken by my brother. What does it mean, why should I be stronger? Why is he so concerned about me? Why didn't he kill me too? I couldn't tell that Kakashi was shaking me, for a long time.

"Sasuke, what's wrong?" My guardian asks, and I snap out of the trap of my mind. I look up at Kakshi, and take in a deep breath.

"I'm fine." I tell him and get up off the couch. Heading back to my room so I could be alone. But was that such a good idea? If I'm alone won't the thoughts and memories come back. I ignore my own warning and actually get a little upset at myself. For what I didn't really know, all I knew was that I betrayed myself somehow….

I bump into something soft. "Oh sorry." Came the deep voice of Itachi's friend. I look up at him and then go around him, Itachi was behind him. They walk down the stairs and I go into my room. I leave the door open a crack and listen as the two teens talk.

"Well thanks for having me over." There was a pause, most likely Itachi was speaking and I couldn't hear him. "Bye." This was followed by the sound of the door closing. I shut my door and rest on my bed. Letting myself think and try to explain away some of the confusing emotions that seem to like to settle in my stomach. I remind myself why and how much I hate my brother. That I couldn't have been worried about him, that it was just a familiar reaction. After all I've done the same thing so many times before, bad habits die hard. This all seemed to soothe me, but did nothing for the feelings in my abdomen.

Then my door squeaks open. I look at the entrance to find my brother standing there. Something spiked inside of me, some un-named emotion. Followed by anger, anger that I believe to come from the hate inside of me. But yet it seemed so different then normal. I watch as Itachi steps into the room, closing the door behind him. He walks towards me soundlessly. When he reaches the edge of my bed he finally gives me a reason for his presence.

"Kakashi told me you had a little episode today." He states emotionlessly.

"I am fine…" I tell him but inside I didn't feel fine at all. On the inside there were still these confusing things resting in my stomach. The feeling of anger was more overwhelming though. Why am I so angry? I ask myself, but then say it's because I hate him.

"If you are sure, little brother," came his calm voice. He then runs his hand through my hair. Something he seems to be doing a lot. I push his slender pale fingers away from me.

"I don't need your pity." I spit out at him. Itachi doesn't seem affected by these words and just gets up and leaves me alone with my thoughts and feelings. As the door closes, one of the strange sensations in my stomach spikes. Though anger overwhelmed it.

Not too long after my visit from Itachi, I go to sleep. I wasn't sleeping peacefully, as all the bad memories of my past seem to flood together into a dream. When I woke up I was in a cold sweat and shaking just a little. But I had no idea of what exactly my dream was about. I look at the cloak next to my bed, it read five minutes past midnight. I had only been asleep an hour and a half. I run my hand through my spikes and let out a sigh. My sigh mingles with a hushed moan. My eyes widen and I was plunged into the familiar panic. I get aggravated with myself. I lay back down, telling myself that I don't care. I pull the covers over me, and shut my eyes.

"Ah…...Sasuke…" My eye shoot open, and I almost dashed to my brothers room, feeling much like a mother would if she heard her baby call for her. But I stay in bed, only succeeding in pissing myself off. I am betraying myself with this concern. I do not care! I will not go to him! He can die for all I care! I yell at myself in my mind. Another lower moan came throw the thin wall, it sent shivers up my spine. I shut my eyes, wondering why he would be hurting himself again. And if he was why is he calling for me? Does he expect me to come to him, just like when I was a child? Well I'm not, he can take care of himself. He's not my aniki, so I will not go to him. My nii-san died along with my parents.

There were no more sounds and I soon found myself drifting back to sleep. The next morning, I woke up pretty late. I go downstairs into the kitchen. Though I wasn't really in the mood for breakfast. Itachi's in the kitchen this time a smoothy to his lips. I look for food, even though I know I won't be eating it. I give up and just sit down, looking at Itachi's hand. My brother gets up and my eyes follow him. He throws away the bottle that contained his smoothy.

"Did you sleep well?" His voice broke the silence. It took a while for me to register that he spoke.

"How is it any of your concern?" I ask harshly.

"I suppose it's not really." He explains softly. "It's just a simple question.' Itahchi's standing not too far away from me. My eyes are locked on his hand. I feel anger boil inside me for no apparent reason, but it was there. My brother steps closer.

"Sasuke…" I don't know if he was going to go one with the sentence but I don't let him. Something inside of me snaps I grab his hand, and turn it over looking at his wrist. No cuts, shame comes over me.

"You don't have to worry." My brother says softly. I drop his hand, and clench mine into a fist at my side.

"You think everything's just going to go away? That I would care for you like I used too?! I won't! You're still a murderer! I will always hate you! Don't take my tolerance of your presence in this house as love or affection! Those things died long ago along with our parents!" I snap at him. I don't know why I cracked like that. But I caught the slight shock on my brother face, before his ice mask covered his emotions. I felt satisfied, and smirked to myself. Kakashi comes into the kitchen, wondering what set me off. I walk past him, and up the stairs.

I proved my hate to him, he knows now for sure. If he built any hopes they are now crumbling. I told him of my hate for him and reminded myself of it. Because fore a minute I was slipping. The memories of my old nii-san and having his shell live here. I was slipping, but he's the killer. Not the aniki I once knew. I will not slip again, my hate is strong; I remind myself.

* * *

A/N: I think this was a pretty good chapter, what do you think? Please review, thank you. 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Whirlpool

I sit in my room, legs hugged to my chest. My locket rests open on the top of my knee. My door is opened and Kakashi walks in. He looks at me with pity, letting out a sigh he sits next to me on the bed. "Care to tell me what that was all about?"

"No." I groaned out.

"Forgiving your brother doesn't make you weak. You're not betraying your parents that way," Kakashi tells me; I say nothing.

"All this time it's always how I should forgive him!" I snap at my gray-haired parent figure. "Tell me why should I forgive him? What has he done to deserve my forgiveness!"

"Sasuke, honestly!" Kakashi raises his voice at me. "I'm not going to deal with this bullshit until Itachi turns eighteen! You only see your own pain, completely ignoring the other people you are hurting! Have you even spoken about that day with him? Have you asked him how he feels about it? Believe it or not but medicine can change people . And I know you don't really believe it, but when depression medicine is mixed with some teenage hormones you can go nuts. So stop this and try to get along with the only blood-related family you have left." With that said Kakashi gets up and leaves the room. I wonder how long he's been keeping that inside. I pull my knees closer to myself, not really knowing what to do. I don't want to get along with Itachi, I don't want to forgive him…it's just easier to hate him.

It's just easier to think that Itachi knew full well what he was doing the day he killed our parents. It doesn't raise any questions. It's easier to hate then to forgive.

Later on at dinner it was deafly quiet and tension was in the air. I could tell that Kakashi was pretty tired of my behavior, but I could care less. Though the speech Kakashi gave me did give me the urge to ask Itachi about the whole thing. Would he tell me about it now? I shake those thoughts away, telling myself not to give in. After all I wouldn't want to slip again, I don't care. I don't care what the reason for his actions were, or if I hurt the murderers feelings earlier.

After dinner we all go our separate ways. Kakashi went into his room, I went into mine, Itachi is downstairs watching TV. I start to fidget in my room. There wasn't much to do and I had practically locked myself in my room all day and part of yesterday. It was starting to drive me crazy. The silence of my room and how I was all alone with my thoughts. I could feel myself slip again and I had to remind myself I didn't care. That my Aniki is dead and that the Itachi downstair isn't the same. That medicine didn't have anything to do with his actions. I get off my bed and head downstairs. I didn't care if Itachi was in the living room, I wanted to watch some TV, or at least get out of my room and away from the torment of my own thoughts.

Upon entering the living room, I saw Itachi on the couch looking at his nails. Palm facing him, fingers bent so he could see them. There was a small bottle of fingernail polish on the table. My brother blew on his fingers. His eyes shift to me, a sadistic gleam in them. I glare at his little smirk and just grab the TV remote. I try so hard not to look at my brother. But he just kept his hand up and I could hear the occasional blow he gave his fingers. I didn't understand why my brothers presence made me so uneasy. Why my eyes wanted to gaze at him, simply because he was sitting there. I think back to the harsh words I spat out at him this morning. And the strangest feeling of guilt came over me. Of course this was soon blocked out by anger I felt at myself. Here I go again, forgetting my hate; letting myself slip. Why should I feel guilty, had Itachi ever felt guilty about what he had done? I doubt it. After all, cold-blooded killers never feel remorse.

My eyes shot to the right, I couldn't help it. The sound of Itachi's breathe hitting his skin seemed unnaturally loud. Our eyes meet, though I had thought by only turning my eyes toward him I could avoid him noticing me. Then his tongue slipped out between his lips as he lowered his head to his wrist. He ran his tongue over it and it's then that I notice, crimson. Blood slowly slipping down his wrist and pooling on his tongue. As he took it back into his mouth, tasting his own blood. His eyes never leaving me, his eyes held something in them. Some strange emotion I didn't recognize…

He was taunting me I know. He must have cut himself not too long ago, to spite me. I hadn't noticed though, because I hadn't let myself look at him till now. Itachi licked his lips, which were now stained red from his own blood. I felt something strange in the pit of my stomach.

"Isn't this what you wanted….what you expected?" My brother asks me with confidence and hatred in his voice. Along with the sound of that un-named emotion I had seen in his eyes earlier. I couldn't say anything, I didn't know what to say. What was Itachi planing with this? Why hurt himself, just to spite me? Or was he calling out for me? He was using those fragmented sentences again. The ones that leave everything open, and make me ask such questions. Itachi leaned in closer to me; my breathing quickened along with my heart beat and I couldn't understand why. Things were flooding into my brain; thoughts, feelings, memories, I was in a whirlpool and about to drowned.

"You don't understand…you say you don't care. But on the inside you are dying to find out why. Why I killed them, aren't you?" Itachi had a familiar look in his eyes, the look he always got right before him and my father got into an argument. Yes, yes I did want to know why. Where did I go wrong…why couldn't I stop you? After spending all that time with you, after trying so hard to give you a reason to live, you turn and kill our parents. I want to know why…why them and not me. Why tell me to become stronger then you? What was the weakness you saw in yourself? All these questions were on the tip of my tongue begging to come out, but my heart had long stopped, and I could do nothing but gawk into those cold dark eyes. Once again reflecting the blood that was spilled so long ago, the blood that still stains his hands.

I could taste it, the metallic tang of blood. It's on my lips, and for a moment I thought it was the blood of my parents I tasted. But instead I find my brother, gently kissing me. Once this though registered I froze, I became even stiffer then I was before; if that was even possible. I couldn't move, though my brain was screaming at me to do something. Push him away… punch him…. return the kiss…

I felt sick, and if at that moment my brother hadn't pulled away from me I'm sure I would have vomited. His hands, his pale elegant fingers ran down my face. I know I was glowering at him with deep hate. But those hands, they spiked an unwanted feeling in me. The feeling of pleasure, I was getting more disgusted with him…with myself with every passing moment.

"…for you." He whispers out. It didn't make sense to me, just like so many of Itachi's statements didn't seem to mean anything. He gets up picking up the little purple fingernail polish and leaves me setting on the couch. Panting , and my heart, trying to stop itself from beating so frantically. Why am I reacting this way? Why did he even do that? I turn to look up the stairs, seeing my brothers bare feet elegantly carry him up the stairs. When he disappeared I ran into the kitchen and threw up in the sink, where dishes just so happen to be waiting to be washed.

My stomach wrenches twice more, before I can stop myself. Kakashi then enters the kitchen.

"Sasuke, what's wrong?" He asks with worry, and walks toward me. I feel myself shaking all over and my guardian helps me to a seat. Giving me a glass of water, he set to clean the dishes I just threw up on.

"What brought this on? You didn't seem sick, are you feeling alright?" I couldn't speak, I still felt nauseous. What would I tell him anyway? That Itachi had kissed me and caused me to empty out my stomach in the sink? I just sat there, resting my head in one hand and taking a small sip of the water that had been given to me. Uneasiness still rested in my stomach, I felt like I'd get sick again any minute. As strange emotions swirled around in my gut. I felt so dirty, so disgusted, I couldn't stop shaking. Why did he do this? Why'd he kiss me. It wasn't right. And that contact was far from kind the friendly, family sign of affection. That was a kiss, the kind you give to a person you deeply love and care for.

"Sasuke? Are you ok?" Kakashi just couldn't stop fussing over me. It's understandable after all I'm still shaking rather violently now. I get to my feet, and whisper an "I'm fine." to Kakashi. I then walk upstairs slowly. I didn't look at my brother's door as I headed to the bathroom. I needed a shower, a nice long relaxing shower. To feel better, to get my mind off of things. To try and think. For once today I want to be alone with my thoughts. I want to work all these strange emotions out and maybe even forget about what just passed between my brother and me. I turn on the water and get my pajama's while I wait for it to get hot.

Once the water was warm enough I strip my clothes and step in. Letting the shower wash away my confusion, as I just relax and calm down. I take the soap and start to clean myself, not thinking of anything. Just relaxing, just trying to forget. I keep cleaning myself and through out the whole shower try to keep my mind blank. Because every time I tried to think it didn't make any sense. I just didn't want to face any strange confusing emotions. No disgust, yet curiosity about my brother. Not until tomorrow.

Yes I'll think everything out and explain everything to myself tomorrow. I turn off the shower and step out. I dry myself off. I pull on my pajamas and head to my room. I slip under the covers and just shut my eyes.

I was so exhausted, but I couldn't sleep. I lay here for hours, waiting for sleep to take me. But, it never came. Maybe I was also expecting to hear the muffled moans of my brother. Which I now question. He had cut himself in front of me, to provoke me or whatever reason he may have had behind it. So I'm sure he wasn't cutting himself the night before. I don't know what to think…I turn in my bed pulling the covers up to my chin. I just want to sleep, I have school tomorrow after all.

The next morning the squeak of a door opening comes to my ears. I open an eye to see what's going on around me. Kakashi steps into my view and I look up at him. He kneels down to my level, a look of worry plastered on his face.

"You don't look too hot. Maybe you should stay home today?" He tells me, I only nod. I'm not really sick, but I also don't really want to go to school. I must look horrible because of my lack of sleep and the episode I had yesterday, no wonder Kakashi came to the conclusion he did. I'm grateful for it. My guardian gets up and heads out of my room only leaving the door open a crack. I shut my eyes again, trying to get some more sleep.

Before I drift back off to a dreamless sleep I think of his words. _"…for you"_ What does he mean? I try to think back to the sentence he had said before he had kissed me, but it doesn't come to me. I actually hardly remember anything that happened before he pressed his lips to mine. It was a big shock after all.

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A/N: I like this chapter a lot. I thought the way Itachi was acting in this chapter was good, kinda hot too. Oh but I hope he wasn't to out of character or anything! Please tell me what you think, thank you. 


	9. Chapter 9

A/n: First off thank you to all who review. I love the long reviews I get! And when you all try to guess what's going on, but so far no one as got it yet. Some are close but you haven't got it all exactly. Well here's the next installment enjoy!

Chapter 9: Twisted revelations

_Sasuke, Sasuke..." A soft voice calls for me. As I feel arms around me, see them holding me. I look up but my face his turned, as if the person doesn't want me to see him. I look out into the vast darkness as I'm pulled back to lay on top of this person. I then notice white sheets and a window letting in light, though the room was still completely dark. There were bars on the window. And when I turn to my left I see a metal door._

"_Would you like to see?" Came the question of the person holding on to me. I try to look at them but I can't. "What, you drove him too?"_

_With that I feel light and float like a feather up to the invisible ceiling. The person still holding onto me. The door opens, and Itachi's pushed into the room, which is now all white. There were handcuffs around his wrists. He tugged his arms apart, causing the cuffs to cut into his skin. After a while, a nurse comes in and takes the cuffs off._

"_Honestly who would leave these on you?"_

"_Leave him be, he's dangerous," came a male's voice. "He just killed most of his family." The man comes into the room, and pulls up my brother roughly. "Let's see what your problem is. And what kind of medicine you should be on." He pushes Itachi out of the room. The next thing I see is Itachi being treated like an animal, being left alone in this cage. Being looked down upon, being called names, just as I called him. He didn't speak throughout all of this. One day he snaps and practically throws himself against the door. Making himself bleed as his head hit the metal hard, but he doesn't seem to care._

"_Let me the fuck out!" The first time he's spoken. He bangs against his door, until his knuckle bleed. No one comes, no one cares. And he calls for me, he calls my name insanity lacing his voice. He keeps calling for me, his voice slowly getting louder. Itachi's never called for anyone. At least I don't remember, I even doubt he's ever called for mom when he's been scared as a litte kid. But here he is; shamelessly calling for his little brother, who can't hear him. Well I do now and I don't move. I just stare at the broken crazed figure still hitting his hand against the wall. So desperately wanting out, so desperately wanting to see his little brother._

"_It's you, don't you see? All this is your fault. If it weren't for you, if you were never born, you parents wouldn't have died. Itachi would have never killed them, he would have never started to hate himself. And if he would have never hated himself, he would have never gone crazy. It's you…who are you to call your brother a murderer? It's all because of you!"_

_I try to get away from the person holding me. They run their tongue over my ear and whisper two simple words. "…for you."_

"_No! Let me go! Let me go!" I scream trying my hardest to get loose._

"_For you, Sasuke. It's all for you!" The person starts to laugh, as the scene before me changes to a flashback to my parents death._

"…_for you." I fall and finally see who was holding me. It..it was myself. My eyes red, almost as crazed as Itachi's. I was laughing at myself, repeating those two words._

I wake up in my bed, in my empty room. I wipe the sweat from my forehead and take in a couple of deep breaths. The phrase my brother had whispered, those two words, making sense now. At least partly, he killed them because of me, for me. Why? I have no clue. I get out of my bed and decide on some breakfast. As I sit at the table, I think about everything. About the kiss my brother had given me, after all today was the day I was suppose to sort everything out, right? The only way I can explain this all is that I'm slowly going mad. I don't think I can handle living with my brother, who obviously already is insane. Why else would he kiss me, I don't understand it. But, I am satisfied with the explanation that I gave myself, blaming everything on madness.

Throughout the whole day a try to find something to watch on TV. When that didn't work out, I looked at movies. I was sitting on the couch with a blanket over me. Though I wasn't really sick, every time I though about Itachi a sick feeling did over come me. The day seemed to drag on , but once I heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway I panicked. I didn't really understand why, but I found myself staring at the front door. Like I was expecting something bad to happen. The door opened up and Kakashi stepped inside, followed by Itachi. My guardian spots me on the couch and comes over.

"How are you feeling?" He asks while opening the mail he had brought in.

"Fine," I mumble out. Kakshi expressed his relief and went into the kitchen, to look over the bills and junk mail. Itachi passed me, walking up to his room. Not noticing me at all. I had the urge to go after him. I wanted to know everything. If what I had seen in my dream had really accrued. And why he killed our parents for me. After all I hadn't ask him to do it. What made him think I wanted them dead? But I stay seated on the couch. I wanted to ask him questions, yes. But I didn't feel comfortable being in his presence. After all what if he tries to kiss me again?

After a couple of minutes of conflict in myself, I decide I'd go talk to him. My curiosity outweighing my fear. I climb the stairs and walk to his room. I stood in front of the door for what seemed like an hour. Then I finally raised my fist to knock on the wood. When the door opened to reveal my brother, he raised an eyebrow at me. The only sign of emotion on his face, as he looked at me dully; though the eyebrow told me otherwise. He doesn't speak so I take it upon myself to explain why I am here.

"Hey…um..can we talk?" I ask him, not making eye contact. No word is said as Itachi steps aside to let me in his room. I stand staring for awhile, not sure if I trusted him. Not really wanting to come in his room, with the doors closed; anything could happen after all. But my need for some sort of answers drove me into his room. I was tired of trying to figure everything out. I would demand a straight answer from my brother. No little guessing games anymore. I wanted to know how it's my fault. How I drove him to kill. I didn't understand it and didn't want to be left in the dark. Especially if I'm being blamed, or am the reason for his actions. After all haven't I done everything for him? Hadn't I tried to help back then? What in the world gave him the idea to kill in my name?

Itachi sits on his bed, I stand in front of him. I thought about my dream, "When you were in that mental facility, what did they do? What did you do?" I ask, though I doubt he'd tell me that he called for me. I wanted to know, if the room I saw, and the treatment I witnessed was fact.

"I just sat in a room all day. Medicine was shoved down my throat. Till they though I was stable enough to go see a shrink." He mumbles out, his eyes holding a far away look. "Why do you care?"

"Just…wondering," I say very quietly. I tell myself that what a saw was just a dream, nothing more. But the message it had given me was right. He did kill my parents for me, that's what those words he uttered yesterday meant. Itachi gets up from his bed and walks towards me.

"Is that all?" He asks me, in a cold voice. "It bothers you doesn't it?" I look into my brother's eyes confused. "You are wondering a lot lately. Wondering about me? About why? That's the question nagging at your mind right?" I stare at him, I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I feel my head slowly moving up and down. Nodding yes to his answer. Even though I don't know why I did it.

"Well we all have questions nagging at us. Including me… get out," he states simply, emotionlessly. I don't argue just turn to leave, I didn't feel comfortable anymore after that statement. I somehow felt like it had something to do with me. Just like I seek answers from Itachi, I have a feeling he seeks an answer from me. A sick feeling came over me, as I thought back to the kiss he had gave me. I walk into my room, on my way passing Kakashi. Who looked at me with amazement. I close my door and hear I knock coming from down the hall. I open my door a little, as Kakashi wanted to speak with Itachi. Itachi opens the door for our guardian.

"Did he speak to you?" Kakashi asks. I hear nothing from my brother but he must have nodded yes. "Good, I was really getting annoyed with him. I don't understand why he does or says the things he says."

"Me neither," came the hushed voice of my brother.

"Don't worry, I doubt he really means half the stuff he says. He'll come around I'm sure."

"I don't know…he can be hard to read. When I think I've pushed him away he seems to come back. It's confusing…I think for both of us." With that my brother closes the door. The sentence had a meaning to it that Kakashi wouldn't catch. I wonder to myself if Itachi had known I was listening. But that sentence I was able to decode; that fragment for once made sense. That sentence was about the kiss he gave for both of us..he was confused of why I came to speak with him after what had happened yesterday. I felt sick again as I pull my legs to my chest. I close my door all the way. I tried hard to keep myself in check. To tell myself my brother's just crazy. Or maybe it's me that's losing my mind. Maybe I'm blowing everything out of proportion. I know the question that nags at my brothers mind, just as bad as the simple word 'why' nags at mine.

'Does he care?', that is his torture. That's his question and I'm afraid of it. Because this phrase could mean so many different things. So many wrong things and I find myself feeling so very sick. My brother most defiantly isn't right in the head. I know now why he kissed me and I feel disgust along with worry. I didn't want to be around him. I had put myself in danger by talking to him alone in his room. And that's why he was confused, he was wondering why I was there, in front of him. How could I speak to him? How will I ever find out the reason behind my inspiring Itachi to kill? If I can't even look at him talking to him. He is sick, disgusting! I don't know why I didn't get it before…why I didn't come to this conclusion yesterday. Oh that's right, I hadn't wanted to think about it. Maybe because I already had a feeling that this was what it was all about. Maybe that's why I just felt like ignoring the thought all together. But I can't anymore, now that it's so obvious.

My brother loves me….

He killed them for me…why? Because he loves me? But what was it that he killed them for? What kind of threat did they pose to me? That little word was still nagging at me, 'why'. Even though I've finally figured out some answers, it's still there tutoring my brain. It's just like when you've almost finished your puzzle but seemed to have missed placed the last peace to finish it.

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A/N: Sasuke's found a lot of stuff out, but not everything. And he won't find out till later on in the story. Which means both you and he have to wait. Next chapter, will be a very confusing one for our little raven! So don't miss it! 


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Brotherly bonding

"Hey where were you yesterday?" Naruto asks me in class.

"I was sick." I mumble out.

"Oh that sucks…you still don't look very good. Are you sure you should have come back today?" I nod my head. When I looked at myself in the mirror this morning I didn't look well. It's strange how thoughts of my brother bring on this ill feeling and appearance. School seems to be dragging on slowly, I was happy once it was time for lunch.

"You're not going to eat?" Naruto asks. I shake my head. I really don't think I could stomach even a piece of bread. Everything that has revealed itself and everything that still nags at my brain is completely draining me. I wish I knew, I wish I understood. But nothing makes sense anymore. All I know is that my brother has more then just brotherly feelings toward me and that he killed our parents because of me. But there are still holes, still things I want to know. But I might not ever find them out because I can't even stand being around my brother.

"So how's it going with you and Itachi?" I glare at my blonde friend, "That bad?" I say nothing, and just rest my head on my palm. Lunch came to an end quickly and then it was back to class, where time just seemed to be slugging along. When the finial bell does ring, I go out to meet Kakashi who's waiting to pick me up. I sit in the back seat quiet and ignoring the fact that Itachi was in the car with us. We all drive home in silence and I don't mind it. I was glad no one was talking, I wasn't in the mood for conversation. At home I went straight to my room and started on the small amount of homework I have. Though I wasn't really focused on it.

"Sasuke, dinner!" Kakashi calls from downstairs. I put down my pencil and look at the clock, it was five-thirty. I hadn't notice I'd spent that much time doing homework, I must have really been zoning out. I head downstairs and sit at the table after getting myself something to drink. I don't put much on my plate, because I don't feel like eating to much. It was quiet at first and I could feel Itachi's eyes on me. It annoyed and angered me, but I try to ignore my emotions. Kakashi puts down his fork and me and Itachi both look at him.

"I was thinking, that it would be good if you two would spend some time together, outside of the house this weekend." I look at my guardian unbelieving, but do not speak. I didn't want to spend anytime with Itachi. Actually I was planing on keeping as far away from him as possible.

"I don't mind, if it's ok with Sasuke?" Itachi says in a neutral tone. All this falls on me and my fist tightens around my fork.

"I don't mind," I mumble out, looking down at the table. My bangs hiding my face and the emotion that it holds. After that I clean my plate and go up to my room. I sit on my bed for awhile and take out the locket I was wearing around my neck. I yank it off of my neck, the silver chain breaking. I through it onto my desk, next to my still incomplete homework. I lay back on the soft cushions of my bed. My brother disgusts me and I don't want to spend any time with him. For all I know he might just kiss me again and I don't want that. An uneasy feeling creeps over me at the thought of spending time alone with my brother. But, I force my mind elsewhere and go to work on my homework.

Nothing exciting happened throughout the school week and it was tonight that I would be alone with my brother. Kakashi and Itachi had decided that we should watch a movie and go to the mall across from the theater afterward. Kakshi dropped us off and told Itachi to call when we needed to be picked up. I didn't even know which movie we would be watching. I didn't want to ask either because that would mean I'd be talking to my brother. And right now, I wasn't in the mood to go along with this stupid crap. I sit against the wall as Itachi gets our tickets. He was talking to the ticket seller for a long time, I think he knew him or something. I didn't really care. I follow him once he's gotten the tickets. Without words being exchanged we decided not to get any popcorn or anything. We pick out our seats; though there were hardly any left.

Only five minutes later the movie started. It was a rated R movie, Touristas. I wondered to myself how he got us in, but that must have had something to do with the reason it took him so long to get the tickets. I sit back, the movie wasn't so bad at first. But the more it got into the plot-line the more disgusted I got. There were some shots of parts of women that weren't really necessary. And though any other boy my age would be thrilled, I didn't feel anything but distaste. And now a scene where they are operating a girls organs out, which I can hardly watch. I squirm a little in my seat and Itachi notices. His lips curl up into a little smirk and I only glared at him. I didn't understand how he could stand looking at this stuff. Well of course it doesn't bother him to see a little gore, after what he's done to our parents. A tinge of hate spikes through me and I don't notice as my brother slips his fingers between mine.

As I see the people on the screen take out the organs from the stomach, I tighten my hand around my brothers. It's only then that I noticed he's holding my hand. I pull my hand out from under his and rest both my hands in my lap. So that they're out of Itachi's reach. My heart is pounding in my chest and resentment builds up inside me. But, I can't manage to glare daggers at my brother, or look anywhere else but my lap for that matter. I don't bring my eyes up to watch the rest of the move and I didn't understand why I couldn't. I just stare at my lap for what seems like eternity, but it must have only been a couple of minutes. Itachi's hand strokes my cheek and I slap his hand away, not wanting to be touch. Especially not by him. I could hear my brother let out a little sigh and he let me be for the duration of the movie. I, on the other hand don't see the ending, because I still couldn't take my eyes off of my hands in my lap. Looking at my hands as if they're to blame for my brothers intrusion of my personal space. I only knew when the movie was over as the lights slowly start to get brighter again.

After the movie, we cross the street and parking lot to get to the entrance of the mall. I have my hands in my pocket and walk behind Itachi, really not wanting to be here.

"I just want to get something at HotTopic." it was the first sentence spoken between us. I only let out a snorting sound, indicating that I didn't care. We walk straight to HotTopic, and my brother starts to look around. I don't know if he was looking for anything specific, but he did get some clothes and go to the changing room. I sit in one of the chairs in front of the dressing rooms. The store was small so it only had two dressing rooms, but there weren't any people waiting to try on clothes. Actually there weren't many people in the store. Though the ones that are really look strange. Piercings and strange hair colors and haircuts.

Itachi comes out of the dressing room and I thought to myself that that was quick. But I was wrong; he wasn't done. He looks at the mirror that covers the door of the dressing room and then looks to me.

"What do you think Sasuke?" he asks me. He's wearing rather tight dark jeans, with zippers in places you don't need them, and a short chain hanging down from his front pocket to his back pocket. The shirt was also tight, it was a button up shirt, with a long sleeved shirt underneath it. The buttons were skulls and there were safety pins hooked to the shoulder. It was different then what I usually see my brother in, lose fitting jeans, lose black shirts with words printed in red on it, and black zip up jackets, which left much to the imagination. But this showed off my brothers body structure nicely, and an almost familiar feeling settled in my stomach; as I run my eyes down his form. The jeans hugged to his hips so nicely. The shirts clung to his chest, and you could see where his stomach curves in, hinting to tight abs underneath.

I shrug my shoulders, "It's…nice." I say in a monotone voice. I really don't want to be my brothers fashion consultant. I look back onto the floor, not wanting to look at my brother anymore, because that feeling in my stomach started to make me feel uneasy. I fidget a little in the chair, my eyes dart up once more to see my brother walking towards me. A feeling of fear along with something else came over me. I didn't want Itachi to touch me or do anything.

"Get away from me." I mumble out, feeling uncomfortable with my brother's closeness.

He ducks down, his breath tickling my ear. "If you're so uncomfortable with me being around you, then why did you come speak to me in my room after we kissed? When we were all alone?" he says it in such a voice it made me feel guilty, even though I did nothing wrong. He then walks back into the dressing room. Leaving me sweating, as I watched the way his hips swayed just slightly when he takes those little geisha steps. I shake such strange thoughts out of my mind and look to the ground.

After Itachi had bought the outfit he modeled, he called Kakashi on his cell phone. The rest of the time I did not look or talk to my brother. When we got home I went straight into my room. There came a knock on my door, and I didn't bother to say anything, or get up to let them in. But the door opened after a couple of minutes and Kakashi steps in.

"You've been staying in your room a lot lately. Just like when you first came to live with me," he sits down. "Was tonight really that bad?" I shake my head. "So then why are you isolating yourself?" I shrug. "Come down stairs, watch some TV with us, you don't really have anything to do in here." I get up and walk downstairs with Kakashi, though I didn't really want to. I sit next to Kakashi, making sure to be as far away from Itachi as I could. I don't really watch TV, I just let my mind drift. Thinking back to what my brother had told me in HotTopic. I know I had been stupid for going to speak to him after he kissed me. But at that time I still didn't want to believe that it meant anything. But, now I'll try and keep my distance from Itachi as much as possible.

Though I couldn't really explain some of the things I felt when we were out. Like why I couldn't look anywhere else but my lap in the movie theater. Or that strange feeling I got when I saw the outfit he was wearing at HotTopic. I try not to let it bother me to much, and I try to watch TV.

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A/N: Aw cute little Sasuke, doesn't know what his own subconscious has already excepted. 


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: I no longer have a beta. Which means though updates will be faster, it'll probably have spelling mistakes and shit. I'm sorry, I'm so sad.

Chapter 11: This tingle

_"Aniki?" My little hand knocked on the locked door to my brother's room. I had just come home with my dad, from a meeting at school; concerning my skipping a grade. I wanted to talk to my Nii-san, tell him what I though was good news. I heard the door being unlocked, but it didn't open. I stood there for a while, before my chubby hands pushed the door open._

"_Aniki?" I questioned, as I peeked into his room. He had just sat on his bed, and he looked over at me. I come in and close the door behind me. I go up to him, and a jump up on the bed to sit next to him. Itachi, rest his hand on my head, letting out a sigh._

"_What is it that you want to tell me?" He says forcing a smile onto his lips. Something he only does for me._

"_I'm going to skip a grade just like you!" I say excitedly. My brother stares at me. His face completely blank. "Aniki...aren't you happy for me?" Itachi shakes his head, and then puts on that fake smile. There's a pain behind those lips forcing themselves to turn up ward._

"_Sasuke do you love me?" He asks simply. I look at him confused._

"_Of course nii-san," I tell him, wrapping my arms around his waist._

"_I love you too, Sasuke. Promise you won't forget that?" Itachi whispers in my ear. I nod my head, and my brother kissed me on the cheek._

My eyes flutter open. I sit up in my bed, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I let out a sigh at the last fond memory of my childhood that I had just remembered. Because the next day I found my parents dead in our home. Killed by the hands of the brother that supposedly loved me. That still loves me in a twisted sick way. A butterfly feeling comes over me as I think of my brother, I ignore it though.

I get out of bed, and change my cloths for the day. Passing my desk a gleam catches my eyes. I go and pick up the locket that I had rip off of my neck not to long ago. I open it, looking at the words written on one side. I have to live in the past, in hopes of understanding present day. I slip the locket into my pocket. I then go down stairs to get something to eat. Itachi was there. Kakashi was no were in sight. We sit in silence together in the kitchen, eating our breakfast. My eyes occasionally darted up to look at him, Itachi didn't seem to notice. When I took that short look of my brother, disgrace seemed to come over me.

I think back to the dream. In a way, in his mind, he saved me. Though I don't know what he was saving me from. In his mind he did something good, protecting his little brother from danger. Even if that danger was imaginary. A feeling of pity for my brother came over me. He was only trying to help me, in his ill mind he honestly believed it was ok to kill them. I looked at my brother more like a child, and I couldn't bring myself to feel that undying hate towards him that had seemed to slowly float away. I didn't even come up with any excuses, to bring on the anger that I usually direct towards him. Maybe the medicine did fuck him up. You hear about some medicine having horrible side affects. Causing suicides and murders. Or if that wasn't it, his mind was just getting worse on it's own, because the medicine didn't even help. Either way, in his mind he did right. And that's way he feels no remorse. He only want's to explain to me his reasoning. Tell me not to clean himself of guilt, and sin. Tell me so I understand, him, his feelings of a sinful love towards me. That's why he wasn't quick to answering my questions, because possibly he didn't want to drive me away. He loves me, and if he were to tell me, it's because of his love for me that he killed our parents to protect me from something, I'd leave. Though he didn't tell me full out, I know this. I know he loves me. He wasn't afraid of telling me anymore. Why? I don't know maybe he was just sick of keeping it in. Even though he didn't utter a word of affection, he showed me. Possibly he can deal with me rejecting a kiss, but not rejecting his feelings in word form. As long as I push him away he can still tell himself a lie—like that I'm fighting of what I'm feeling or something like that—, but the moment he says "I love you", and I show disgust and reject him….he probably couldn't handle it.

I couldn't bring myself to hate him, not anymore. I feel only pity for him, now that I look at everything with new found answers. He's my brother, the only family I have left. Though I'll be more careful around him, I won't hate him. I'll never fully understand my brother, and maybe I'll never find out the threat my parents posed to me. But, right now it didn't matter. I find myself staring at my brother, and he lefts his head. Our eyes meet, and a shock wave ran through me, I avert my eyes. No I can't hate him, but I also can't give him what he wants from me. My love, not in that sense, it's just wrong. It's not right. I think back to the movies, and my strange thoughts and behavior. No, I can't ever love him. It's wrong. I tell myself sternly, wondering why I have to remind myself. So maybe I can't hate him, but dose this mean we're on friendly terms? I get up out of my chair and leave the kitchen.

I run into Kakashi, "Morning Sasuke, are you all right?"

I nod my head, "Um…do you know were you can get jewelry fixed?" I ask him remembering the locket.

"Yeah, what do you need fixed?" Itachi comes out of the kitchen, he listens to the conversation. When I notice he's there, it made me not want to tell Kakashi that I wanted to fix the locket. It made me feel guilty.

"Just a necklace," I mumble and then walk past him. I don't understand the strange feelings jumping up at times that seem like they shouldn't be there. Like guilt, it's been doing that a lot. I get into my room, and pull out the broken necklace from my pocket. Why am I feeling so strange? Why can't I control myself. Why do I try hard not to look at my brother, when my eyes only dart up for a short glimpse. Why do I feel a short twinge of shame after I looked at him? There's nothing shameful at looking. I don't understand this.

There came a curt knock at my door, and then it opened. Itachi walked in, and I felt my body stiffen. My hands started to get a little sweaty. I shrugged it of as simply fear of being alone with my brother, in a room. Seeing as he closed the door behind him, I didn't want him to try anything. He walks up to me, swinging a silver chain.

"Is it the chain that broke?" he asks me. I nod my head, and hand him the locket. He takes off the broken chain, and put in the new one. He sits on my bed next to me, as he does so. I become very nervous. Itachi then scoots up to me, and hangs the locket in front of my face.

"Don't worry Sasuke I won't do anything to you," he says in a monotone voice. I take the locket from him, and Itachi makes a move to get up.

"What was the threat?" I ask him, he looks at me confused. "Why kill them for me? What did they do?"

Itachi only smiles at me and sits back down.

"Wouldn't you like to know," he smiles sadistically. "Like I said we all have questions that nag at us," he almost whispers, running his eyes over me. I felt the blood rush to my face. But I don't let the blush show. I turn my head to look to the ground, my bangs veiling my face. Why was I acting like this?

"You use to care for me…" he says quietly, I look at him. The question in his eyes, did he want me to answer it? I don't know…I do care don't I? Now that I had somewhat of an epiphany, I can't bring myself to hate him anymore. But I don't know if he wants that answer, or the answer to his love confession unspoken. My eyes once again look at my lap. Why am I doing this? Why can't I control or understand my actions anymore. Itachi gets up of the bed again. I grab his hand, and pull him down. We look into each other's eyes, confusion mirroring off each other. I don't know what I was doing, and Itachi defiantly didn't have a clue. All I knew is when I looked into his eyes, there was a familiar old feeling, from times long ago.

I moved forward, still not understanding my action. Right before our lips could brush together, I pull away.

"No this is wrong!" I say out loud, more of yelling at Itachi then myself. Maybe to blame my actions on him, instead of taking responsibility for myself.

"Sasuke, you're the one who made the move," my brother says in a seductive voice. Sending shiver up my spine. How many times have I felt this before? I remember the night I heard my brother moan my name. How that sent shivers up my spine. God it's so wrong to feel this. Itachi presses his lips against mine. There was no shock, as I felt his soft lips on mine. I didn't pull away. It's so wrong, it's disgusting. But then how can this feel so good? So right. I lick at my brothers bottom lip, as we fall back onto the bed. Itachi opens his mouth, and I slip my tongue into the waiting moister. He lets me explore before, his tongue intertwines and plays with mine. His hand was running through my spiky hair mine were on his chest.

I flip use over, so that I'm ontop, Itahi lets out a moan of protest. But, I pin him down, as our tongues have a battle of dominance. I couldn't stop my hands from roaming up my brother's shirt. My logical mind was telling me to stop, that this isn't right. But my sensual mind, was rutting me on. We brake the kiss needing air. We looked at each other, eyes half lidded, and it's then that I seem to snap back to reality. I get off of my brother. Running a shaky hand through my hair.

"Leave," I tell him. Itachi gets off the bed, and heads to the door. He looks back at me, as I desperately try to bring up the feeling of hate. I remind myself of everything he's done, and how he shouldn't be forgiven. It doesn't work though.

" It's only a sin if you think of it in those terms. Listen to yourself not to other peoples morals and beliefs," with that Itachi leaves my room. I stare after him. How can I listen to myself when I don't know what I'm saying. I let out a frustrated groan, how can I be feeling this. For my own brother? Once again I search my mind like a photo album, trying to show myself why I should hate him.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the late update, I had some family stuff to take care of along with school. 


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12:Looking at one self

Reminding myself of hate doesn't work. Only the old familiar feeling that had compelled me to kiss my brother sat there along with depression. I had betrayed myself. This was the man that took away my family, my normal life. When I was little I used to care so much for my nii-san, I felt like I was his world, his only reason for living. I took pride in that, but now I fear it. I'm still his world, his only one, and it scares and confuses me. Did this feeling he has—this love— is it just a recent occurrence? Or has it always been there, and I was just too blind and ignorant as a child to recognize it?

For weeks I dwelled on these new yet old feelings toward my brother. The emotion I refuse to call love. The old feeling I had put away long ago in a box, in the back of my mind. Which I replaced with hate, which no longer exists but I wish that it hadn't disappeared. It's just easier to hate, but I can't anymore.

During these weeks Kakashi was concerned about me. I know I must look brain dead, and in a way I am to the outside world. Not wanting to take anymore in until I sort out what's already inside. Once again I find myself in my room, performing the ritual of opening and closing the gift my nii-san gave me. Remembering all the strong feelings of love I had for him, the feelings of protection. The kind an older brother should posses. That almost selfish protective feeling, that kept Itachi from taking his life. The relationship we had back then…was it inevitable that we fell in love? Were those innocent yet strong feelings towards my brother, foreshadowing something more? Something he's felt since then, and that I have just discovered? No, I'm not in love.…I scull myself. I feel something for Itachi, I know that much. A brotherly bond that's all I'm sure, but there's still a hint of confusion within me. Maybe it's just my imagination. Or maybe I can't completely accept those feelings yet. Not until I know 'why'.

But I will not go seek Itachi to ask him. It's obvious he doesn't want to tell me yet. I lay back and think, searching my mind for memories, anything that could shed light on this question.

This soon brought up thoughts of my brother as a whole. Along with these thoughts came a question I had to ask myself. Am I living in a dream? Am I blocking out things to try and keep myself under control? It's funny how I pick and choose questions, those questions never really directed at me, but my brother and his behavior. I take the locket around my neck, and start my ritual as I think on things. Opening and closing the piece of jewelry as I do something I should have done earlier; analyze myself.

First the question of love. Yes I must say I feel a strong emotion towards my brother. Possibly love, there's no question behind that. I had even told myself that I couldn't accept it yet until I know why. But that brings up the question of why I can't just accept it now? Am I just stalling, because I don't feel ready yet or comfortable about the whole situation? Will Itachi answering my long sought after question really change anything? No it won't, I'm just hiding the fear I have. I couldn't love my brother so deeply it just isn't right. It's not a sin unless I look at it as such. How easily he had said it, but I can't just look at it purely. It is wrong not only because he is my brother but also because he is the murder of my family; even if he did have good protective reasoning behind it, it's still a fact. I let out a sigh. Yes I…care for my brother. And something like that can't simply go away, can it? Can't I just ignore this feeling, and go on without acknowledging something so immoral? This topic got confusing fast, seeing as my feelings for Itachi were all jumbled up. I came to the conclusion that I didn't want to accept my feelings, and I didn't exactly know what or if I should do something about that.

So next question. The whole 'don't live in the past' thing. I don't understand it. It's perfectly normal for me to seek answers for his actions, therefore I must live in the past. To try and find out who my brother is now, here in the present. So I can better understand him. But along with the past comes past ideas, and concepts. Because I had already made up my mind, that everything is Itachi's fault. Which created a hatred for him, that I now no longer really posses. By living in the past, I could only see what I already told myself. My eyes open a little wider and I stop my opening and closing of the locket.

By living in the past I still have the mind of a child. Not yet intelligent enough to be able to read between the lines. Only knowing that his nii-san and father yelled a lot, not knowing why, therefore blaming Itachi. Only understanding that his presence kept his brother from killing himself, not understanding or wishing to know why. But I think I know why now. My brother had loved me, he did everything out of love for me. Now I must open my mind, and stop living in the past, and look at the new possibilities.

At the new answers to why. Not the close-minded simple and quick answers like, it was the medicine. Or blindly hating Itachi. Not caring to listen to his point of view, because I had already marked him a murderer.

I close my eyes, satisfied with the answer I had come up with. I'll look at things through new eyes, not ones with hate, or simple one-word answers. I'll look at flaws in my parents, not only my brother. Because it wasn't only his fault, like I had told myself. Depression and madness doesn't just come out of nowhere, there had to be a reason why during that time my brother snapped.

I get up and change, telling myself that was enough thinking for one day. I hadn't come out of my room all day. I didn't want to face Kakashi's concern, and I didn't want to face Itachi at all. Though I still want to know why, so I must face him again one day. The thought didn't seem as scary anymore though, neither did my confusing emotions

I yawn and crawl under my covers, exhausted.

_It was the day that my nii-san would become 'sick'. It was the day that all the yelling and crying would start. It was still a happy time for me, though it would be the last day of childish innocence. I would be around my mother a lot, and I would play with Itachi too when I got the chance. Which wasn't very often. He always seemed to be busy then, but he tried to make time. Tried to build that brotherly bond. I thought nothing of his busy schedule back then. Just accepted it like a child would, when not given a proper answer._

_Either way it was mostly on weekends that we had time together. This weekend Itachi was playing tennis with me. Well actually it was feather ball, and he was the only one using a racket. For in my childishness I found it more fun to chase after the ball with my bare hands. This was a time where I didn't have the responsibility of making sure my brother was happy and wasn't going to hurt himself. He showed no emotion, no sign of unhappiness then. I only found out that my brother wasn't happy after he had made my mom cry while he was arguing with our father. _

"_Itachi you have a tennis match today. Get dressed, it's almost time to leave," my father tells him, completely ignoring my presence. I hadn't questioned that when I was little, just accepted it, and in a way enjoyed the attention given to me by my father once the relationship between him and my aniki went downhill. Itachi gets up, and I walked up to him, eyes sad. He ducks down to my level, handing me the racket he was holding along with the feather ball._

"_Put it away. Later tonight I'll read you a story," he promises, taping me on the forehead before leaving to go get ready for the tennis match he had. I find out later when the yelling starts that he didn't like tennis, or any of the sports my father signed him up for. He played soccer and tennis, he was on the chess team, and on top of that, two grades ahead of where someone his age is supposed to be._

_He came home around six o'clock. I watched as he went into the bathroom to take a shower after getting a change of clothes from his room. I waited for him to come out; I wanted him to read the story he had promised me. It was my bed time after all. He comes out and spots me peeking around the corner waiting. He looks at me with no sign of feeling on his face, but if you knew what you were looking for you could see amusement in his eyes. I giggled and hid behind the wall I was looking around, a little game of hide and seek. I could hear my brother come toward me, and I sat there for a while in silence thinking he would overlook me. But he sat next to me, amusement still in his eyes, no matter how cold he looked on the outside. He smirked at me, and was about to tell me something when my father came down the hall._

"_Itachi, me and your mother wish to speak with you," came my father's voice. I look up at him, but like usual his eyes are on Itachi not me. My brother gets up, and the two male role models in my life walk away. After they are out of sight, I go to sit on the top of the stair to eavesdrop. _

"_We've seen your grades Itachi," my mother starts. "We're very proud of you."_

"_But we also think it's not a challenge. You're getting an A in every one of your classes, along with balancing sports, and being the top chess player in the county. We don't believe that this is entertaining your intelligence." Itachi said nothing, though I believe my father expected him to since he took a pause. Either way he continues, "We want you to think about skipping another grade," my father states bluntly._

"_What?" Itachi ask in a monotone voice. _

"_You teachers agree that you could handle another boost, if not even thrive a grade ahead," my father explained._

"_I don't want to," Itachi states plainly._

"_What do you mean you don't want to?"_

"_Stop trying to live through me. I'm already the youngest in all my classes. Stop thinking about your own ego for once, and let me do what I want."_

"_Itachi we only want the best for you," my mother reassures him. But it was to late, that day something in Itachi snapped._

"_The hell you do," he said in a way too calm of a voice. "I'm not skipping any more grades, I'm not taking any more advanced classes, and I'm not doing any more damn sports." The arguing went on for about another half-hour, and when I heard footsteps coming I went to my room. I peeked out from the same corner I was hiding behind earlier. Watching my brother come up the stairs, I remember thinking he looked like a corpse. He walked into the bathroom and walked back out to go into his room, razor in his hand. I didn't think of it then. I didn't think my nii-san would have ever hurt himself, but I know now that's when he started to get 'sick'._

_The next day he hadn't spoken to me or anyone else for that matter, and it went on like that. For the longest time he had withdrawn himself from the family. But, soon enough his ice wall broke when it came to me, and I was his only salvation._

A/N: I had trouble with this chapter. I wrote one version, then deleted it and wrote this one. I hope it flows smoothly because I did use some parts of the old chapter in this version. I also hope you enjoyed it and that it wasn't too bad.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Strength

When the sun shines into my room and my eyes snap open, one thought comes to mind. I've overlooked something. And indeed I have. The statement my brother made about him wanting me to be stronger than he is, or was. I gaze upward, trying to see where this all fits in. I had come up with so many possible answers to the question 'why', but this statement seemed to throw me off a little. It could still be possible that my theory of Itachi being pushed too far is true, but why would he have spoken those words to me?

I drag myself out of bed, changing into fresh cloths. I step out of my bedroom door and not soon after run into Itachi. He had just gotten through taking a shower, seeing as his hair was damp. The same evil snake that had enticed Eve to take the apple was crushing my heart it felt like. I know I was staring at him. His eyes only glanced over me as he walked by. Once he's out of sight and down the stairs a weak feeling takes over my body. I stood there for a while, not able to move. I clutch my shirt, my fist resting on my beating heart. I take in a deep breath as if this would cure me of all the impure thoughts and feelings the simple sight of my brother invoked.

I slowly head downstairs but don't enter the kitchen. I wasn't hungry, and just sat in front of the TV, in silence. A change of scenery I suppose. For once I let my mind rest, and concentrated on the program I was watching.

I should have known that this rest wouldn't last long. My heart speeds up again once a nail polish bottle is set on the table. Itachi sits next to me, and is removing his old finger nail polishing with a cotton ball. I wouldn't let myself as much as look at my brother's hands. I try so desperately to only have my eyes on the television. Oh god, how I hate these conflicting emotions inside me. I felt almost sick, and for some odd reason I was sweating. I know all this isn't going unnoticed by Itachi.

I started thinking on that statement, about strength. What was the weakness he saw in himself? I ask myself finding it a better distraction then the TV at the moment. Was it that he'd killed our parents? Was that weakness? Giving into a murderous urge? Or is it something else? My heart started to calm as I stopped being so nervous. I keep on thinking. It could also be him giving into the love he had for me, seeing as he killed our parents for me. Itachi wasn't moving any more. Though I was in thought I hadn't completely took my attention off of my brother. I couldn't help myself I had to look at him. Though I know doing this would be the same thing as confronting my feelings for Itachi. My aniki wasn't stupid, he knew for sure just by my behavior that something was up.

My eyes immediately find his, and it was like all the answers to everything were inside of him. Like he could untangle the feelings tangled up inside of me and of course put my mind at ease by simply answering, 'why'. It seemed like forever that we looked at each other, but soon enough Itachi went back to the business of taking care of his nails. He picked up the deep purple nail polish and unscrewed the top to take the brush out. What was he waiting for? I know he can tell there's a change in me, why not point it out? Was he waiting for me to make a move, or just torturing me in this way?

My mouth felt dry, and the urge to drink in my brother lips was strong. Then again the urge to get up and hide was strong too. Run away….how weak it would be for me to do that. No I'll stay here, this feeling will pass. I keep telling myself that as time passes, my brother painting his nails in peace. I on the other hand sat battling with myself. Finally I break when I hear the click of the nail polish bottle being put back onto the table.

"Itachi…!" I say very loudly, and I wince. I look around to see where Kakashi was. He sat in the kitchen I think, talking on the phone. I felt shame because I wanted to tell Itachi something I know Kakashi and the rest of the world would look down upon. I had second thoughts, but pushed those away quickly, as I felt Itachi's interest going from me to blowing his nails dry. I didn't completely understand myself, or maybe there's nothing to understand, but my aniki awakes such odd feelings and behavior in me. What else could it be but love?

"Itachi," I grab my brothers attention once again. "Could we talk later, privately?" I ask, feeling nervous.

"If you'd like, yes," he says it so calm. I know he understands what's happening, what I'm going to talk to him about. Or does he believe I'll probe him for answers again? If I would, I wonder if he'd answer them. But for know I should only focus on one thing at a time.

I continue looking at the TV. What was I waiting for? Why can't I speak to Itachi now? Just bring him up to my room so Kakashi can't hear. No, not right away, in a way I need to prepare myself. I let myself relax, though I can't completely calm down. Everything was so far from what it used to be. I am supposed to hate Itachi, but now….it's just all a little too strange. But what can I do? I can't ignore this forever, it's starting to mess with my nerves.

I decided the time was right to talk once Itachi had gone upstairs to put away the nail polish. I follow after it's been about a good three minutes since he's left. I go to his bedroom, the door was open, and I step in. Itachi turns to acknowledge my presence, but no words are said, not yet. I turn to close the door, we could talk in here. Itachi sits down on his bed, I have the urge to sit next to him, but I remain standing. I didn't know how to start this off, my lips wouldn't form words. There was a fear. Was fear supposed to come with a love confession? I mean I know how he feels, what am I afraid of? But it was there sitting in my stomach, the reason why I couldn't form words.

I was afraid. Of what? The things that would happen after? How everything will be different and how it'll change. The fear of how fast or far this all is going to go. The fear of not knowing if this is right, or if you should really care if it is right or wrong. I love him, yes I admit to that dark feeling. But there was still fear, fear of the unknown.

"Itachi I…I've been thinking," it was the first thing that came to me. My brother showed interest, and waiting oh so patiently for me to continue. I wish he would just say he knows, that I wouldn't have to go through this. Explaining how I feel, saying a I love you. I just couldn't, I don't think the words would form. Maybe out of fear, maybe because there was no need for such words. Either way I just wanted Itachi to understand without me saying anything. Though I had a feeling he understood perfectly well.

"I've been thinking about all that's passed," I lower my gaze, "and I …I don't really know how to word this." I was now looking at my feet, as if expecting them to give me an excuse to not continue. I didn't notice how long I paused, but it was long enough for Itachi to have walked towards me.

"Sit", was the only word he gave me, as he tapped my shoulder lightly. I nodded my head, probably looking much like a worried father about to get news about his wife's childbirth. I sit on the bed, eyes never leaving the floor. I just wanted Itachi to understand. To kiss me again, and to know that the feeling is mutual.

It was quiet for the longest time as we sat there. Both of us waiting for the other to make a move or to speak. The tension was high and the silence was starting to get on my nerves. I wanted to do something. I look at Itachi, he notices right away, holding a look of expectation in his eyes. Maybe even predicting what he thinks I'll do next. The more I look at him, the weaker I feel. Giving into his beauty, his intelligence, his complete control over me. His power, the mystical knowledge he holds in knowing that I would fall and bow before his feet. Worst of all I like it. There was fear, there was still a hint of moral difference, but it was obvious these feelings wouldn't go away. I scoot only an inch closer to the forbidden fruit that is my brother.

I notice a victories smirk as our lips meet, in a kiss full of meaning. A kiss that is my love confession, because this attrition is hard to ignore. Maybe we were even doomed to fall into this. Maybe I had never had a choice. It was me that did all the work, Itachi only sitting there enjoying the end of a war. I come a little bit closer, Itachi not moving, letting me do as I wish. Though I soon found that unappealing and pulled away. I look into his eyes, and only said one thing.

"I know you understand, do I have to say it?"

Itachi ran his hand through my spiky hair, pulling it back I hiss. He comes dangerously close to my face. "It would be more satisfying if you did," he says almost softly. In his own way showing me he cares, that he wants to hear those words. Maybe for his ego, but I think it's more likely for reassurance. After all I've kissed him and then ran before.

I let out a little sigh as I blow out air, my lips forming the words I don't know how long my brother has been waiting to hear. "I…love you."

Our lips crash together, Itachi now in charge. Acting much like a crow waiting in a tree, watching and when the time is right swooping down to frighten you. But after the moment of shock everything is all right, and you tell yourself you've overreacted. Have I overreacted to things in the past? Is that why my aniki, so many times in a silent voice, begged me to come out and see a new dawn?

I've come Itachi, I see a new light.

I moan deep in my throat as I say this promise in my mind. My hands holding on tight to my brother's shirt, as the force of the kiss pushes me back a little. Clinching my fist into the fabric of his shirt, just going along for the ride.

A/N: So what do you think? I hope it pleased you, my dear readers. Please review and tell me what you think.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** I think a lot of people misunderstood last chapters finishing sentence. It was not a hint to a lemon. Though there will be one soon (I promise I'll make it worth the wait), for I think it would be odd for Sasuke to automatically get it on with Itachi just after finally accepting his feelings for him.

**Special thanks** to a friend of mine, who's interest in the story has really helped inspire me to write on more than one occasion. And of course thank you to all my readers and reviewers! I never expected this story to be such a big hit, I just wanted to blow off some steam after being annoyed by my sister. Once again I promise I'll make the lemon worth the wait!

Chapter 14: Comfort zone

Everything seems to have slowed down, and though the question of 'why' still lingers in the back of my mind, I don't find it as important anymore. Maybe because now, I truly believe that when I ask, Itachi will answer. Also my brother seems more important. Itachi right now is more important then the actions of the past. I can feel the same selfish protectiveness and love I used to feel for him, every time I saw him go to his room alone as a child.

Though Itachi hasn't changed. To any on looker it simply seems that we've given up on fighting for the moment. A break to heal wounds gotten during the war. Little do they know the war is over. We still don't speak to one another in the presence of others. For example, at dinner we ignore one another but after, I sit in my room, affectionately holding the locket around my neck. Fumbling with it like I always do, though not at all contemplating about the past. Though occasionally I still like to think on it, though I know I could get the answer from him easily. To a point, maybe I'm a little afraid of asking. Would this change my view of my brother in anyway? Will it make him look insane? Is the reason for his murder out of pure insanity, or protection fashioned by love? Yes I have to admit I'm a little afraid of what his explanation would be, but at the same time it's something that I'll eventually will have to ask. The new relationship we are forming would be unable to go on unless we get this out of the way. But for now I wish to indulge in my brothers company alone.

"Sasuke, I'm going to do some over time at my job. I'll be taking the night shift this weekend. I think the guy who usually did the night shift is in the hospital or something. Either way my boss asked me to do it this weekend. Just this once, will you and Itachi be fine alone?" Kakashi questions, I think a little uneasy about the way I've been acting. I say nothing just nod, Kakashi looks at me for a long time before smiling, and taking his leave. Most likely going to go explain the situation to Itachi.

I continue with the homework I was working on before Kakashi had interrupted me. Only to be once again disturbed, by the opening and closing of my bedroom door. "What do you want?" I say somewhat harshly, just in case Kakashi was upstairs.

"Friday night you'll be on your own," Itachi explains coldly. I turn to face him.

"Why?"

"Forgive me," he says poking me in the head, as he goes on to explain, "I had promised a classmate of mine I'd watch 'Hannibal Rising' with him."

"That's fine," I mumble. "Does Kakashi know?"

"Yes, I won't be gone the whole night," Itachi says emotionlessly, before leaving my room. I felt some disappointment, because lately Kakashi hasn't been gone too often, and I would only go to Itachi's room occasionally in secret at night to have some time alone. But, I was also somewhat relieved to see my brother spending time outside the house, making friends.

"Dude that must suck, a whole weekend having to be all alone with your brother. He'll be in charge, he might even have an emo party, seeing as Kakashi won't be there and all."

"I doubt that, anyway tonight I won't be bothered with him," I tell Naruto.

"Well I guess Saturday and Sunday you can just lock yourself in your room. Though you'll have to eat." I roll my eyes at my blonde friend, who only gives me a grin, and looks straight ahead when the teacher yells at him. I wonder how Naruto would react if I were to tell him about how much my relationship with my brother has changed. I wouldn't though of course. I don't see how it's anyone's business but mine and Itachi's.

I sit alone on the couch, Itachi and his friend went to see a four fifteen showing of the movie. Kakashi was getting ready to leave.

"Itachi should be back around six thirty or so. You'll be fine on your own for that time right?"

"Yes," I sigh out, a little annoyed. I don't need to be babied. Kakashi then says his farewells and leaves to go to his job. When he opens the door, I could hear the light pitter patter of rain drops. I watch TV trying to pass the time, and I catch myself glancing at the clock often to see if it were close to the time Itachi's expected home. God I feel like some love sick schoolgirl, and I somewhat grumble at myself for acting this way. I tell myself to just sit and wait, and stop being so impatient.

In the end I turn off the TV and let my mind drift to my brother, along with listening to the soothing sound of the rain outside. The urge to know why came up, but once again I don't think I'm ready or really want to ask right know. Itachi is still a mystery, and I doubt that he'll ever really stop being that. But for now I don't want the thin vale lifted, I'll wait for a time where I really want to know, about his past actions. I just recently stopped living in the past, I just recently started looking at everything with new eyes, not old biased ones. Why go back to the past so quickly? Why not just live in the present and enjoy the new experiences? I let out a sigh, the light shower from earlier turns into a loud thunderstorm.

The sound of a key unlocking the door gets my attention. I look at the clock and notice it's seven. He's late, I tell myself as I see Itachi stepping into the house soaking wet. He has a bag in his hand, and I wondered why he had it, and what was inside. After all he only said he was going to the movies, though it's obvious he had a side trip. I watch my brother take off his shoes along with his wet coat, and then enter the living room, seemingly ignoring my presence. He sets the bag he has on the table.

"I brought some food, have you eaten yet?" He questions.

"No," I answer simply. Itachi reaches into the bag to pull out a small box, he hands it to me. I open it to find rice balls, one of my favorite dishes. I smile shortly to myself, it may just have been coincidence, but I like to think that Itachi knew all to well I loved this snack. Itachi had another box for himself which contained sushi. I take a bite out of one of the rice balls, and after swallowing ask Itachi:

"How was the movie?"

"It's a risky decision to make a sequel or not. It really should depend on the plot line, not how much the audience like the first movie. It's even riskier to make a prequel." He explains, walking towards the stairs. He then disappears, coming back awhile later in a plan black shirt and sweatpants.

"Kakashi bought a movie recently. I think it's an older movie though, called 'Death by Numbers'. Interested?" I offer us an activity. I had read the back of the movie earlier this week, sometime around when Kakashi had first bought it. It didn't sound too bad, and seeing as it's an older movie it may not have unnecessary nudity and gore. Itachi sits down on the couch, and I go to find were Kakashi had put the movie.

The movie started, and I continued to eat my fill of the food Itachi had brought me. It was pleasant and I sat close to my brother who was also eating. The storm outside was raging, but both of use weren't bothered by it. Until the lightning decided to take our power away.

"Just great," I say with irritation clear in my tone. Itachi gets up and heads to the kitchen, coming back out with two flashlights.

"Here," he says handing me one, "The power should come back on."

I set the flash light right side up, so that it's shining on the ceiling. "We get a chance to bond, to spend time with one another and this happens," I think out loud. Itachi's flashlight flickers, before going off.

"We have tomorrow too, little brother. Sunday as well," Itachi reassures me in a monotone voice as he sets down the dead flashlight. The light the other flashlight is giving off is very weak, and the area my brother and me occupy is very dimly lit. I inch a little closer to my brother, he looks handsome in the light. I think to myself that we really hadn't been really alone in a long time. Yes sometimes at night I would sneak in a pleasant conversation and occasional hand holding but not much else. Those nighttime meetings were usually short, anyway. As I was thinking all this, Itachi as if he's read my mind intertwines our fingers.

"Are you no longer curious?"

I stare at him blankly, "What do you mean?" He didn't answer, though it didn't surprise me at all. The phrase could have a double meaning, either asking why I'm not so curious in our relationship, or if I no longer wonder about the 'why' that's plagued me so badly before I gave into my emotions.

I rest my head on Itachi's shoulder, thinking about his question. Really, before I had given into my confusing thoughts, there were more moments of kissing between us. I hadn't kissed Itachi since I had said those three words his ears had dreamt of hearing since we were younger. Or so I like to believe. I have already answered myself about why I don't really want to inquire about my aniki's past behavior. Really that's all Itachi's questions are, is him asking you to ask yourself. He expects no answer as much as he doesn't plainly and clearly give them back when you ask him something. Or maybe he didn't need the answer. I'm sure Itachi knows how to read me as much as I can just tell when he's very happy, even when he looks like he's just unfazed to anyone else.

I lean up to kiss my nii-san, my fingers exploring his ponytail. The thought of uniting his hair seemed very pleasant. I imagine what he'd look like with his hair flowing around his face, I don't recall ever seeing my brother with his hair not pulled back. Itachi pulls away but an inch, and kisses my chin moving down towards my neck. I tilt my head back, to give him more room to work with. His hand crawls under my shirt, and my skin tingles in response to his touch. I shutter, taking in air between my teeth, my hand stroking the arm that's under my shirt. Running my figures up along it, until I reach the start of his T-shirt.

I wanted a kiss again, and I lower my head so it's harder to get to my neck. Itachi gets the hint, and our lips meet, tongues wasting not time to come together. It was heavenly, but we were pulled out of our sweet kiss once the power came back on, the TV starting up again loudly like it had never been shut off.

A/N: This chapter was what we would call a filler. Next chapter the long awaited answer to 'why'.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: From supple lips, past revealed

I lay in my bed, unwilling to get up. I had the most pleasant dream, and I wish only to turn over and go back to sleep. But the sunlight pouring into my room made that action difficult. My eyes won't stay shut, and I wasn't tired, no matter how badly I wanted to go back to my dreamland. Today was Sunday, and the last day of the weekend Kakashi would be working overtime. Saturday night, was a paradise. Though specifically recalling what I had done with Itachi was hard. Some conversation on some subject that the viewing of the news brought up, along with other bonding activities that just seem to slip my mind. All I know is that I'm laying here very happy and that can't only be because of the dream that had graced me.

I finally get out of bed and head to get ready for the day. Taking a shower sounded good, and I did so. Afterwards I just threw on some casual cloths, today was not special or anything. I then walk down towards the kitchen, in the mood for a small breakfast. This happy fog was an odd feeling to have indeed. And the fog only seemed to become denser once I laid eyes on my brother, who was also having breakfast in the kitchen. I ignore him of course, and he does the same.

I try hard to recall all of the activity of last night. I remember earlier in the evening, I had inquired about Itachi's time in the mental facility. Still thinking on my dream I had so long ago, and how badly and miserable it all seemed. Itachi hadn't said much, not really answering anything. It made me worry a little, it was like he didn't want to tell me at all. As if it were too horrible to mention. I finger the locket I wear religiously, while putting down my bowl of cereal. I had other conversations with my brother and 'why' had turned its ugly head once I was really into the conversation. I had not asked Itachi, but there was a burning feeling. I wanted to know, but ignored the urge to ask then. The more I talked to my brother, the more rational he seemed as if the touch of a mental imbalance had never fazed him. He sounded not at all insane, and even though his tone of voice held no excitement or happiness, the possibility of him still having depression was far from my mind. Or at least I couldn't imagine the depression to be leading him to insanity.

Itachi is a mystery, pure and simple. A complex creature whom I know only little of, but still know him better then anyone else. I was the only one who understood him when we were children, and it seems I'm the only one who would be able to solve the mystery that is my aniki. Though I have no desire to completely crack my brother open. I want him to stay a mystifying breeze, whispering his knowledge in a language unspoken.

I look up from my cereal bowl, taking in the sight of the person I'm thinking of. He graces me with eye contact, a gesture I shy away from. I lower my eyes, not being able to hold his gaze for long. How pathetic. I didn't raise my eyes again while I was at the table, only eating my breakfast peacefully. I don't know why I couldn't hold his gaze. But it made me feel submissive, weak, and the urge to stare into his murky pools came over me. To show that I'm far from weak and didn't think myself beneath him. Of course Itachi doesn't think me beneath him, only in a cold way teasing me and taking slight amusement from my inner conflicts with myself. I'm sure he finds me even now amusing.

The rustling of clothes is what makes me look up once again. Itachi was leaving the kitchen. I look after him, and 'why' seemed to creep into my head. It's so simple to ask, I know he'd tell me. I no longer live in the past, yet now it's knocking at my door. It's easier to leave past ideas behind, but past questions must be answered before you can fully escape the times of yor. I wonder if Itachi thinks the same, and if he's waiting for me to question 'why'.

I put away my bowl, and peek into the living room. I take in the sight of my brother for only a moment, before thinking it best to go back to my room. After all, I don't want to raise any suspicions.

Once I reach my room, I scan for anything that could occupy me. I grab a book, and rest on my bed. But it was hard to keep my mind on the book, the talk of love only making me think about Itachi, and in turn I think of 'why'. It's come back to haunt me, but it can be so easily taken care of. Just right now is not the time to ask, and once again a little bit of fear creeps into my chest, when the thought of asking tonight enters my mind. I don't understand, there should be nothing to be afraid of. But there it is, just a tinge. I wonder if it's natural for me to feel like this, or it's just my emotions being conflicting again. I want to know, but maybe the fear of an answer is giving me this discomfort. I think back on our conversations, telling myself Itachi isn't insane, and even if his answer is insane, he's far from such. He may not have changed, he may still be in a cloud of depression, but he's my aniki, the only one I want. I refuse to accept that insanity would bother me so much. He's shown no sign of it. There's nothing to fear. He'll still be my aniki.

These words didn't seem to help, and it worried me. How can I ask if I'm not sure I want to hear an answer? I don't want to think about it anymore. I'll ask Itachi, it has to be done. It can't be overlooked. With that I focus once more on my novel.

The time for Kakashi to leave came slowly. But once he called from downstairs telling me that he would be leaving, I felt relief. I shout back an all right, showing that I had heard him. I now sit in my room, wondering if it's my way of stalling for time. After all, I did say that I wanted to speak to Itachi, to ask my question. Though my novel didn't seem to be that good of a distraction anymore. My eyes glance up from the page to my door, wanting Itachi to come in. After awhile of attempting to read in this state, I finally give up and get off my bed. I put the book on my desk, and was about to head for the door when it opened. It was my brother of course. He lets himself in, closing the door behind him.

"Why don't you come down?" He asks simply, as the door clicks closed behind him.

"I was busy," I say rudely. Holding his gaze, I'm determined not to look away. In the back of my mind making a wager, if I can hold his gaze I'll ask 'why'. If I can't I will wait for another day.

Itachi's eyes seem to look around shortly, and then they land on me once again, as if looking right through me. "I see," he says it so calmly, as if mocking me. I find myself not blinking any more, and my eyes water. All because I wanted to hold his gaze, though that doesn't mean I should stop blinking.

"Is there something troubling you?" Itachi's tone of voice hardly changed. I let myself blink, and rub at my eye. In my mind it was good enough, I hadn't looked away from his eyes. I open my mouth, and no sound came out. I was excited yet nerves. How can I go about this? I still look Itachi in the eye, as if hoping he'd understand. Feeling desperate like I had when I confessed my love to him. I want him to understand, not because I can't bring myself to ask, but I don't know how. It seemed as if my actions somewhat confused Itachi, and his eyes run over me as if looking for the answer. In my nervous state, the habit came and I finger the locket he had given me. I was thinking of a way to ask, and that little bit of fear seemed to have grown. Then it hits me, the reason why my earlier words hadn't comforted me.

If Itachi were only a little ill, and he could still think rationally it would make him a cold-blooded murder. I lower my eyes, looking at my silver gift. I can't think of him as such. That's why I stall even now to ask. If he seems to have been in his right mind…no he's not a murderer…he has a good reason. He's not the type to just do something like that out of amusement, no matter how much others' troubles and self-turmoil amuse him. He never showed a side of himself to me that would make me think he'd have tortured our parents out of amusement. But…what if? I thought I've grown past this, and a big part of me is screaming, "Don't doubt him! Don't go back to the one minded thinking, don't lock yourself in the past."

The touch of a hand is what snaps me out of my thoughts. I look up into dark eyes as pale fingers slowly glide down my cheek. I felt a lump in my throat, and I swallow.

"Ask," one word, one simple word, he made it sound so easy.

"I must be acting so pathetic. I guess I didn't become strong like you told me to," I insult myself. This was so hard, and it shouldn't be. I can only think of myself as pathetic. I shut my eyes and pull away from the slow moving hand still on my face. I felt shame. Why couldn't I just ask? I'm not strong enough, I'm….

"Pathetic is ignorance. Not acceptance. Ask," he says. What does he mean? Is he insulting me as well? A tinge of anger comes over me, and I give my brother a glare. I was once again in that confusing state of mind, where emotions just come up out of nowhere. I leave my glare behind, once Itachi only stays calm. Waiting patiently for me to ask. I don't say anything, rather withdraw into my mind. Thinking on Itachi's words, they weren't meant to be an insult, I can see it in his eyes. Was it an encouragement? I had accepted my feelings for him, I hadn't pushed them away. Well at least not for all my life. I had been confused, but I accepted it. I accepted myself, and him. I started that small step, I can't just stop in the middle of the road. I will not ignore my past, my question. I will accept the answer, and I will still accept Itachi.

I look up at my brother, and two simple words came from my lips, "Aniki…why?"

Though Itachi didn't look away from my questioning gaze, he also said nothing. It worried me, does he still think I'm not ready? No, it can't be that. Is he preparing himself? Does he also hold some fear about this conversation? I reach out my hand, and our fingers touch, I come closer to him.

"Empty words of comfort can only go so far," his voice sounded like a whisper, but I know he's talking in a normal tone. I say nothing, and just wait for him to go on. "Once the inside disturbance seems to settle, another comes up. Nothing was learned from the Civil War before. Then there is scouting, and eyes reach beyond to find other followers, not protected by walls. Purity and innocence can be so easily tainted Sasuke. It's a shame." I wait as if expecting more, but nothing else was said. I turn and go to sit on my bed. I look at the floor, Itachi only stood near my desk, unmoving. I rest my head in my hands, I wonder if all this was making Itachi nervous?

But I only need the time to think, nothing more. He speaks of our father, and how he seemed to have tried to live through Itachi. Pushing him, not caring. Only caring about hearing praises, having a smart son was an honor after all wasn't it? But you can't control people, you can't shove your wishes onto them. That's the weakness Itachi saw in himself, that's what he meant when he told me to become stronger than him. He was weak, for he ignored his own wishes. For following our father, for so long, and then only having the strength to kill them when something triggered it. That something was me. I was what made Itachi snap. Father started showing an interest in me, like he had shown in Itachi, who was now doing as he pleased and they were on bad terms. I was the only one who tried to understand Itachi. I don't know when exactly Itachi had started to feel things for me, but this all triggered the murders.

There's and ache in my chest. I clutch to my shirt, and continue to stare at the floor. I heard footsteps coming toward me. He did it all for me, he was…It was the right thing to do in his mind, it was the only way he could…

Itachi stopped in front of me. He had been deprived of a childhood, he was always busy, never near anyone his own age. He saw what it had done to him. And now he was the cause of all the crying, all the worry. He didn't care if Mother cried. He did, however, care when I did. He was making me grow up too fast, did he see that? His depression made me take on a responsibility that even our parents didn't take. I looked out for him, I tried to understand him. He was making me grow up too fast. But he himself was like this because of father, and then seeing father take an interest in me, it was too much for him to take. He had loved me, he didn't want me to be controlled, he didn't want me to grow up too fast, he had to do something. He had to take responsibility, repay me, and show me he loves me. He had to….

"…protect me…" I lift my head to look at my brother in front of me. The pain in my chest only increased, when I look upon my brother's face. To anyone who didn't know how to read him, they would say he was stoic. But I saw it, the relief, and the pure love and devotion he held. It hurt, and the ache in my chest didn't go away as I saw a tinge of pain in my brother's countenance.

He may never speak sweet nothings to me, or as much as say 'I love you.' But this moment alone reassures me of the emotion he claims to have for me. Itachi takes a seat next to me on the bed. It seems as if everything has come full circle. I rest my head on my brother's shoulder. Once again that lovesick feeling overtakes me, and I feel so strange. I would have never imagined myself here only months ago. Itachi takes my hand into his. We are silent, nothing needs to be said. We know the other well enough, to know we have nothing to fear.

I tilt my head back and look at my brother's face. He was looking at our hands, but once sensing my gaze he directed his towards me. I tip my head up only a few inches, and our lips meet. There was something inside of me begging to come out. It's as if I am completely empty except for that one feeling, which also wants to leave me. It's not a bad thing though it seems, and I want to listen to this feeling. I'm at peace, a peace I thought I would never have as long as my brother was near. But it's ironic, how the symbol of my turmoil, hate, and pain, is now my relief, protector and salvation.

The hand my brother isn't being used to holding mine comes up to cup my face. Our kiss becomes deeper, and I push on him. I adjust myself so I can better push him. Standing on my knees on the bed, I make myself taller. I part for only a brief gasp of air, before once again kissing my brother, now towering over him. I push my brother once again, now having the perfect position to knock him down. He falls back onto my bed, and I cover him with my body. Parting our lips, I trail butterfly kisses down his throat.

Our hands hadn't ever untangled during these actions. But soon they will. The feeling inside of me trying to escape seems to be driving me into a blissful madness, as I once again ravish my brother's mouth.

A/N: Lemon next chapter! Aren't you all happy? Review if you like, thank you.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Thank you all for reviewing. The reviews for this story are so great, and it's about time you all get rewarding, right? So here you go!

**Warning:** Lemon! Itachi is seme, though it may not look like it at first.

Chapter 16: Raven's call

The feeling was desperate to get out, and I only felt lightheaded. But I knew what I was doing, and what more I wanted to do. This feeling was making me crazy. It felt like the only way I could get rid of the maddening feeling is if skin was against skin. It's instinct, that's all I can call it.

I pull back only a little, and take Itachi's bottom lip in between my teeth. I bite, drawing blood, then suck on the wound. This only leading to an exchange of the taste of iron as Itachi and mine's tongues come together. Caressing one another as if hands, our tongues dance, drawing out a soft moan from my lips. My hands seem to take on a life of their own, as they trail up Itachi's shirt. His skin is soft, feeling much like the white cotton it looks like. I expected him to be cold, but his skin gave off a pleasant heat. I travel down from his soft supple petals, and nip at his chin, licking occasionally. His skin tasted like pickled ginger, saccharine but leaving a bittersweet aftertaste. So I tasted different parts of his neck, not wanting the aftertaste to come yet, wanting to prolong the sweetness it held.

His hand covered mine as he guided it, and tilted his head back exposing more of his neck. Our intertwined hands pushed his shirt up. I lower myself, pushing the shirt up so Itachi's entire chest was there for my taking. I started at his abdomen, running my tongue up slowly. I'm rewarded with a faint, almost not heard gasp. It seemed that that noise alone made the feeling inside me want to get out even more. It went wild inside of me, traveling just a little lower, in the pit of my stomach. It's then that I notice I'm fully erected.

Once I reach my nii-chan's chest, I take a brief look at his face. The after taste of his skin, teasingly settles into my mouth. I wanted to taste the sweetness once more, but his face was enticing. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He was relaxed, calm, and his eyes only partly open. Small slits that he probably only sees blurs out of. Still giving myself the pleasure of watching him, my tongue reaches down to tease a nipple. Itachi's eyelids lower, and his long lashes of the darkest gray hide his charcoal eyes. I close my eyes as well, taking the knob into my mouth, I suck lightly. Hands once again going on their own adventure, finding Itachi's hips as a suitable frontier. The hem of Itachi's pants was being pushed out of the way, as my slender fingers travel down to touch his hips. By this time, I've switch from my brother's right nipple to his left, inflicting the same torture.

I wanted to discard the black material bunched up above my head. After a few licks for a lingering bitter taste, I part from my brother's skin. I take the shirt into both of my hands, and pull it over Itachi's head. I sit back to take in the sight of my brother. My hands run down his chest, fascinated by the ashen skin. Almost as white as the make up a Geisha would adorn her face with.

Itachi reaches up and fists a handful of hair as I'm pulled down for a kiss. It was tender yet forceful, pleasurable yet painful. I lower myself, my hands touching one of my brother's nipples. It was amazing how soft and warm Itachi's skin is. I put my weight on my brother, and once I feel the bulge in his pants an urge to move came over me. Still engulfed in our kiss, I rub our erections together. At first only as an experiment, seeing how it would feel. The shy touch advocated me to push harder against my brother. I did so, following my bodies urges. We both gasp, breaking our kiss. I rest my cheek on my brother's bare chest, rubbing against him still. It felt so good, and I couldn't help letting out a moan. Itachi then pushed me off of him, I would have whimpered at the loss of friction, but I controlled myself.

Once again Itachi kisses me, his hand stroking my cheek. We're next to one another, neither dominant, neither submissive, but neutral as we lay by the other's side. The hand that was cupping my face soon takes interest in removing my shirt. The shirt is lifted easily, and then thrown to the floor. Itachi pulls me close, and we touch flesh to flesh, the only thing in our way the cold silver locket still around my neck. His fingers then dance down my back, I tilt my head up and our lips become one once again. It's when Itachi rest his hand on my crotch that I shove him, so I could get air. I gasp for breath, and then let out a moan, pushing my hips forward into my brother's hand. I throw my arms around him, pulling him close. Silently begging him to apply pressure to where his hand lay.

"Ah," my plea is heard, Itachi pushes his hand against my crotch. "Mmmm," I groan out breathlessly, as that hand rubs in circles. As soon as it came it goes. Only to be pleasantly surprised when that hand unbuttons and unzips my jeans. Slipping past my boxes, Itachi grabs a hold of me. "Aniki…" I gasp out, resting my forehead on his chest, and pulling in closer in our embrace. My hand finds his ponytail and I pull out the tie, then run my fingers through the silky jet black hair, while my brother strokes me. I felt hot, and I could feel the sweat running down my forehead. I started to move along with Itachi's hand. That imprisoned feeling moved lower and lower, as if seeing it's exit.

My nii-san didn't shy away from giving me pleasure, stroking me harder and faster. I couldn't control my vocals any more. Finally the feeling that had wanted to escape ceases it's moment. I cum into my brother's hand, but it felt like only part of that feeling had escaped, leaving a fraction of itself behind still waiting. I couldn't catch my breath, and I felt weak. But, I still wanted more, I wanted the feeling in my stomach to go away, even if it's presence brought on such blissful madness. While I was lying still trying to breathe normally, Itachi withdrew his hand, giving me a kiss on the forehead.

I swear I could feel his lips curled into a smirk when I felt them upon my forehead. Itachi tugs down my pants and boxers all at once. Leaving the cum that's on his hand behind on my cloths. I am now completely nude, while Itachi still has his pants. I didn't like that, and I started to weakly tug at my brother's pants, after unbuttoning them. Itachi helped out, and took off his jeans and underwear. Itachi was still painfully erected, even though I had some release he hadn't had any. The site of his excitement got me up as well. I bring my eyes up, when I feel hands running down my back. Itachi brought our lips together again, and slowly he crawled on top of me. I put my arms around his neck, though the kiss couldn't last long, I needed air. Once lips were no longer against lips, they find interest in the junction of my neck and shoulder. There was light biting, sucking, and kissing. I pet my brother's long hair that's freely splayed over his back. His hands touched me almost every were, I couldn't pin point anything, the caresses are like the wind. "How far do you want this to go Sasuke?" Itachi ask. He looked so beautiful towering over me. Most of his hair was off his shoulder, only a few strains clinging to rest on his back. His hair was like a vale around me, tickling my face, but not at all covering any part of his features.

"All the way Itachi," I say in response. Itachi took his finger to his mouth and sucked on it, making it wet. I found watching him captivating. Then the hand disappears again. I feel the wetness run down my inner thigh, and then reaching my buttocks. His figure touches my tight skin.

"It'll be uncomfortable, there'll be pain."

"I don't care," I whisper, and his wet finger pushes into me. "Ugh!" He was right, it felt odd to have something inside me. It was even more uncomfortable, once that finger moved within me, stretching me out. Then another entered adding to the discomfort. To say the least, what he was doing was annoying and pissed me off. I say nothing, though I can't claim my face didn't show dislike or discomfort. Either way I endured the odd feeling, and am relieved once the invading digits pull out. I let myself relax, not having notice that I was tense.

Itachi looks at me, his hand lifting my hips slightly. As if asking permission his eyes don't leave mine. I close my eyes as a sign of trust. Only moments later, I feel him probing me. My lids squeeze together, and I don't dare open my eyes. Itachi stops, but still I don't relax. His soft hand then gently messages my thigh, and I hear the faint request, "Relax, little brother."

I try and eventually when my body is completely lax, Itachi continues to push into me. I try not to tense up, it's hard, the pain isn't easy to bare. I wiggle trying to get away, and Itachi stops again. My breathing's heavy, but his was steady and soothing. As if him keeping his breathing steady would coax me into staying calm. I try to relax, but thinking of the pain, I didn't know if I could handle it. It was like I was being ripped apart on the inside.

Itachi kisses me, softly, tenderly. Our hands interlace, and then our lips separate. As his hand gave me courage, he pushes into me deep. I tighten my grip around his fingers. Finally it seemed like a painful eternity, but finally my brother had completely impaled himself. There was another moment of rest, my chest heaving, sweat making my skin itchy, or was it just the thought of having sex with my brother that made me itchy. Impatient. I close my eyes once more and Itachi slowly starts a rhythm. There was little pain left to be noticed as waves of pleasure tickle my being. The feeling that so desperately wants to escape me once again resides at the bottom of my stomach, and only seems to be moving lower.

On count with the rhythm, and every stroke I counter. Itachi seems to take my participation, as a sign to speed up. Not that I mind at all, when he sped up he also hit something inside of me; that forced a low moan from my throat. Wanting him to do that I again I try and push myself onto him as far as he could go. But he was in charge for now, and he didn't let me, holding on tightly to my hips.

"Itachi…." I try and ask him to stroke that spot again. But I could only whimper out his name. I try to pull him closer using my legs. He forces himself deep into me, and that addictive sensation teased my entire body. Itachi was now resting his forehead on my shoulder, using one arm for support and the other to hold my hip. He was still pounding into me, and the sound of his heavy breathing so close to me ear, was erotic. I encircle him with my arms and legs. I wanted him to moan, to whimper, to call my name. But all he gave me was his labored breathing. I run my hand through his hair once again, and he hit that spot once more. I tug at his hair, and practically screamed. But through my shout of ecstasy I heard him let out a small grunt. I play with his hair, while he drives into me, and he moans.

"Yes," I say huskily, wanting to hear more of my brother's voice. Then the hand that's supporting him, latches onto my shoulder, nails digging into my skin. The hand that had resided on my hip moved to hold my cock. Stroking it in time, I let out a whine. The sensations over flowing, my brain can't even process it. And the feeling was once again close to finding an exit. So close…so…

"Aniki!" My voice breaks as I call out the affectionate name. For a moment that was the only thing my mind told me to do, the only command. To scream in ecstasy. Nothing else mattered, nothing else registered. I have reached an impairing climax and I ride it out, as my brother is moments away from his own climax.

"Sas…Sasuke," he calls my name, and I feel warmth inside of me. There was heavy breathing, and Itachi was shaking, having a hard time keeping himself steady. He didn't want to collapse on me, but for a brief moment he lay on top of me unable to keep himself off of me. Then in a shaky manner he managed to pull out of me, and lay down next to me on the bed sheets that are now tussled and not in their right place.

The feeling that had compelled me to do this was no longer there, and all I wanted was to lay here. Itachi lay on his back, catching his breath. I roll over and stay close, suddenly feeling cold without my brother inside of me. I reach for my locket, still around my neck. I finger it like I always do, but notice something off. I sit up in a start.

"What is it?" Itachi questions. I look at the locket in my palm. Lifting one finger I try to press it closed, only to not hear a click, the sound that would tell me the locket is locked. There's only a small gap.

"The locket won't close," I tell Itachi. My brother sits up and looks at the piece of jewelry around my neck. He also can't get it to shut.

"I must have put too much pressure on it," he explains. He then reaches to try and take it from around my neck. I stop him.

"We'll get it fixed," he says plainly, that being the reason why he was going to take off my keepsake.

"No, it's fine," I say in a monotone voice. I then try to make sense of the sheets and cover myself feeling cold. Seeing as I was completely exposed to the air in the room. Itachi swings his legs around and sits on the edge of the bed, picking up some of his clothes.

"Lay with me," I command more than ask. Itachi turns to look at me and there's a period of a silent stare. Then my brother lowers himself, I share with him the covers and my body heat. I fall asleep with his warmth next to me. But I know he'll leave during the night, we can't be caught like this. Other's wouldn't understand. They would only find it dirty, they wouldn't see it from our eyes. Purity and innocence nowadays are so easily tainted. It's a shame…

A/N: So what do you think? Did you enjoy yourselves? Leave a review please and tell me what you think.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: Small fears

Fingers loosely laced together, soft pillows surrounded me. This much I could comprehend. But I became far more awake when that hand slipped away from mine. I tried to open my eyes but the weights of sleep wouldn't let me. When movement jostled the bed, I forced my eyes to open.

"Go back to sleep," came Itachi's calm voice. My mind seemed eager to follow his command. It's usually like this, Itachi leaving a little bit after I've fallen asleep. It saddens me, because even though I know he cares for me, there's still a pain to waking up alone. A sort of hopeless feeling, or like everything the night before was a dream. In the morning I'm hardly reminded that it wasn't a dream. Having to act distant, so we won't raise suspicion. It's tiring, and I love it when Kakashi is out of the house, and Itachi and me can act like the lovers we are. I never thought hiding our relationship would be hard, but it is. We can't have it any other way sadly. Keeping this a secret is for our protection, we don't know how others would react. Still sneaking around, acting like this, it makes it seem like we're hiding something dirty.

"Itachi, is this wrong?" I ask tiredly, wanting reassurance from my brother. So I know we are protecting our relationship from being looked upon as dirty, not that we're hiding it because it already is.

"It depends on who's standpoint it is. To many it would be wrong. To others in a similar position it might be like any other love. Incest is mainly looked down upon because of reproduction. More than likely the child will come out deformed."

"But we won't be able to reproduce," I state simply, before waiting for Itachi to go on.

"Yes, that's why we'll be looked down upon even more. To most they can't comprehend why two of the same gender would like one another, because there are no 'benefits' to society. That or they simply fear what they don't understand, a normal human instinct. So yes Sasuke, this is wrong, from societies standpoint. That shouldn't matter." With that he leaves. I look up at the ceiling. How long has it been? About a month or so since I realized my affection for my brother. I feel no regrets, yet it troubles me keeping this all hidden. How long can we go on unnoticed? A foreboding feeling enters my chest. I clutch my locket, even though still broken I refuse to let it come off my neck. This act provides me with comfort that holding Itachi would bring, but seeing as I don't have that opportunity often, the locket makes for a good replacement.

Flipping the locket open wider, I look at the contents. The word, "don't live in the past" no longer reside in the jewelry. A picture of my brother, instead, is right next to the picture of my parents. I neither hate them nor Itachi. My father may have been pushing Itachi, and only looked to me because Itachi stood up for himself, but he's still my father. It's more that I pity him, it's like he didn't really know how to bond with his sons. Then there's Mother, who knew about all that was going on in the house, and she knew how it was affecting Itachi, yet she only gave him words. Maybe Itachi had even asked for her help, and she did nothing. But most wives don't go against their husbands. It's sad, your children are always supposed to come first. She was in an awkward position, she probably had no clue what to do. Therefore only trying to comfort Itachi with words, which didn't help in the long run.

I shut my eyes, and try to go back to sleep, but it was hard in such an empty and cold bed.

Vacation seemed a far away dream. If spring break would come then during the day while Kakashi was at work I wouldn't have to put on an act. With all my ability to read Itachi I honestly don't know how he feels about this situation. If it at all gets on his nerves sneaking around and such, I have no clue. If he's keeping up with the act for our sake, his sake, or my sake, I have no idea.

I press down on my pencil hard, as I write the answer down to a literature question. To be honest the situation's playing on my nerves. Yet I would do nothing to even slightly risk being caught. It's not out of shame, and I could handle the evil looks, seeing as I hardly have much of an attachment with anyone else other than Itachi. I can do without friends and such, they're not a necessity like for some social teenagers, but Itachi is a necessity. In a way he's always been. It's my life and I choose who I want to love, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Naruto has of course no clue about my brother and me, and I don't feel like I need to tell him. It doesn't effect him in anyway after all.

As I sit in school I have an empty feeling, and at lunch Naruto expressed concern. Saying I looked more emo then usual. I just shake my head, indicating I don't really want to talk, and also reassuring him it's not a big deal, so he doesn't need to worry.

The feeling inside of me was that sort of feeling, where you don't really know what's wrong but you want to do something. Like an itch you can't scratch. I know it has to do something with the way me and Itachi are going about our relationship, I've already admitted it's irritating me. But, what could I possibly do about it? Nothing, and that itching emptiness only seems to get deeper with that statement. I can't wait till school's over and the last bell rings. Maybe at least being near Itachi will get rid of this annoying feeling. It could possibly just make it worse, either way I was starting to get angered. After all what could I do about this feeling? I can't rely on Itachi to make it go away, it's my problem and I can handle it, I don't need help. But still it seems hopeless, as the bell signaling lunch is over rings.

Indeed that empty itching feeling only got worse when I set eyes on my brother. My hands just wanted to move and felt so empty without his in it. I'm being whiney, and I should just stop. What if Kakashi noticed me looking in the car rear view mirror practically staring at Itachi, who was simply looking out the window?

Dinner went by with small talk, about school and grades. Thought it almost seemed like Kakashi was trying to get me and Itachi to talk to one another, as if he was looking for some sort of answer from us. I wonder have we not been acting our part right? Have we failed at portraying ourselves as hateful brothers? Or is it simply another plot of Kakashi to try and bond us together?

After dinner Kakashi had beckoned to me, wanting to talk to me privately. "Sasuke is there something on your mind?" He questions.

"Why should there be?" I ask with a smart tone.

"You haven't been..how can I say it…so angry towards Itachi. It's like you've grown up a little," he explains with a pat on my shoulder. "I was just hoping it was out of maturity and not some other reason."

"I'll stand the bastard since I have to live with him," I say coldly, but somehow it hurt for me to say it. Kakashi gave me a weak smile followed by a sigh, and left me to my own business.

I ran into the living room, Itachi was sitting on the couch reading a book, gracing me with his presence. Of course Kakashi wouldn't question why he was reading in the living room, and we could be in one another's presence this way. I turn on the TV, not putting it on low volume, it didn't bother Itachi at all. I watch CSI, it was fetish week, and Spike TV was showing all the weirdest CSI sex crimes. I have no clue where Kakashi had gone off to, but he wasn't in the living room.

While engulfed in the plot line of my TV show, I feel a touch. I jump and look at Itachi, still holding the book in one hand. Our fingertips were touching. I take his hand in mine, and lean in just a bit closer, the risk of being caught high, yet somehow the idea was very thrilling. I didn't indulge myself too long and scooted to the other end of the couch, and Itachi casually turned the page. Not too long after Kakashi came into the living room and sat down in-between us, saying something about CSI, like he'd already seen the episode or something along those lines.

"Watch what you want," I tell him, getting up and heading to my room. I still had some homework to take care of after all. I had a big pile of homework and willingly ignored it till now. I've come to hardly do any homework at home, finding the time in school to finish it easily. But I had to at least finish my outline for history, it's always very time consuming, math and science can wait for tomorrow.

It was around eleven that my door opened slowly, followed by a, "You're still awake?"

I look up from my history book and nod. One more sentence and I'll be done with my outline. It was always at this time me and Itachi had our night time meetings, to be sure that Kakashi was asleep. Itachi came to my desk, just as I finished up. I close my book.

"You should go to sleep, you have school," He says just like any mother would. Usually I've already had an hour and a half's worth of sleep by the time Itachi entered my room.

"I will," I tell him, pulling him to my bed to sit down. I just wanted to be close to him, hear his heartbeat. Rest my head against his chest and tell myself this isn't a dream, no matter how much it seems like it sometimes. The next day, any signs of the night spent together, gone, no words and defiantly no reassuring embraces. I felt like expressing my worries and thoughts about us being together, the things that I had thought about during school. I didn't say anything though, not really wanting to confine in my brother. Somehow wanting to deal with this on my own. I can't always rely on Itachi, just because we're together doesn't mean we have to share everything. I'll be strong on my own, and deal with my worries. There's no reason to bother anyone else with them.

"Kakashi doesn't seem to have noticed anything, yet," Itachi says in a monotone voice, running a hand through my hair. I didn't even have to say anything, it's like when I'm thinking of something he knows. Or maybe he's just thinking of the same thing? Either way I let out a sigh and lean into his petting.

"He's bound to get some sort of clue sometime," I muse.

"What are you so afraid of?" Itachi asks. I look up at him, isn't it plain to see? I don't want to be caught by Kakashi, I just have this foreboding feeling. This can't go on like this for long, it's only a matter of time. What would he do if he found out?

"Of the unknown," I tell my brother. He understands completely.

"We'll worry about problems once they present themselves," he says calmly, but it wasn't good enough for me. I know he's thinking ahead, I know even now he's playing out all the possible scenarios. He has a better idea of what might happen then me, and I want him to tell me.

No more words are spoken, and we just indulge in the others' presence for a little while. Not too long, Itachi leaves earlier than usual, obviously telling me I need to sleep. My door makes a squeaking noise as my brother leaves me. How I wish he could stay for just one night, so I could know what it's like to wake up next to the person you deeply care about. But that simple fantasy is out of reach for now, and the fear of being caught is both thrilling and frightening. How odd.

A/N: Nothing real big in this chapter. Well please review, thank you.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Do you know what I know?

I lay awake, it's Saturday night. It's long past midnight, and Itachi hasn't come to me yet. The itching emptiness creeps from my chest to my feet, and I get out of my bed. Why hasn't he come? I think to myself as I reach for my bedroom door. Looking around in the dim hallway I see and hear nothing that would give reason to why Itachi hadn't visited me yet. I strut across the hallway and go up to my brother's door, quietly I open it. Peeking inside, I find my brother sitting on his bed wide-awake. I go up to him.

"What's taking you so long?" I ask.

"Kakashi's light was still on last I checked," he explains, as I make myself comfortable on his bed.

"Well I didn't see anything," I tell him. This really wasn't enough and I felt angry. This can't keep going on like this, I'm getting tired of sneaking around, and I should feel no shame. I'm treating this relationship like it's something to be ashamed of. I want so much more, I think to myself as I tilt my head up to kiss my brother. I want to freely hold him, touch him, be with him. That's what I want, and these thoughts and this kiss seem to make the itching go away just a little. Still I feel restless, still I feel empty, because even though this is exactly what I hunger for, I also know I can't have it. I know there'll be some sort of consequence. That's why Itachi's going along with it. He knows if we get found out something bad will happen, that's why he's also keeping this a secret. After all, he's already told me not to worry about others' thoughts and opinions, about society's view on us. So the consequence, whatever it is, is bad, and that's why he's hiding along with me. Is this the only way?

How I want to ask you, ask you what could at all happen. Tell me the consequences, I want to know. Then I'll judge for myself if it's worth it. But most anything is worth giving up for you.

I lick his lips, wanting entrance and impatient for permission. My breath's warm and heavy as Itachi opens up. I waste no time, I wanted so much more, yet I don't want sex. I let out a throaty moan, and I seek to hold Itachi's hand. My kiss becomes more forceful, and I feel that itch, being surrounded by anger. This just isn't going to work like this anymore. I can't stand it, I want so much more. Yet I can't do anything, I want to but I know that… something's in my way… the unknown is in my way. The knowledge I do not hold, but Itachi does, and he doesn't want us to break out of this secrecy. Not because he's ashamed but because once again he's protecting me, from something I have no clue about. From the consequence that forces my brother to make a decision for me, the same consequence I cannot begin to imagine.

I part our lips , and just look into my brothers eyes. So much like mine. I turn my gaze away and rest back on the pillows. I just wanted to stay here, just one night do I want to sleep next to him and wake up with him by my side. Just one night, is that too much to ask?

Itachi looks at me, with that expressionless face of his, which ironically holds so much emotion. This time I can't unravel them though. "He knows," he tells me.

"What do you mean?" I ask with a start, sitting up on the bed.

"It's obvious he was waiting for me to exit the room," Itachi pauses, looking in the direction of the door. "I don't know how you coming here has changed his view, or if he even noticed that you entered my room. He may have thought you were going to the restroom. Either way it would be best if you went back," he tells me. I open my mouth to protest, and I receive Itachi's full attention.

"What is he going to do? What will he do to stop us?" I ask, I know he knows and is just not telling me. I don't want to leave, I could care less if it sounds childish.

"You're not ready, Sasuke," I look at Itachi in confusion. "Just go back…" he pauses and I look at him still confused and defiant, "Not yet Sasuke, go on," he tells me. I couldn't help but do so. He has everything planned, and I do trust his words. But, why can't he tell me about what would happen? If I'm not ready, shouldn't I know why I'm not? He's planned everything, he knows every scenario, and I know nothing. A little angered, I leave the room, though I do it quietly, not at all hinting to my displeasure.

I lay under my covers and try to sleep. But there it was again that itch, and that slight hint of anger still remains. Eventually though sleep graces me. A lonely sleep…

The next morning I get dressed and head to the kitchen like my usual routine. I find my brother there, and Kakashi nowhere in sight. I felt some anger, mainly because I feel like Itachi's treating me like a child, when he should be treating me like his partner, equal, his lover. Or maybe it's all for my protection, maybe he has his reasons. Yet it's this thought that doesn't help my disapproval.

"Is Kakashi still asleep?" I question, getting out a carton of milk.

"No, he had started early with is grocery shopping," he explains. I nod my head in understanding, and sit down with a glass of milk across from my brother.

"Itachi…" I start, looking briefly at my brother, seeing I had his full attention. I didn't know how to go on, I didn't really want to start complaining and put my emotions out there. It's hard for me, and I didn't know how to start, but I clearly want him to know that I don't want to be treated like I was treated last night. "Last night," I pause, having a hard time putting words together.

"I was only looking out for your best interest," Itachi says interrupting my pause. "The situation we are in is far from favorable.

"And what exactly is that situation?" I say with a hint of anger, and annoyance. I was acting dumb on purpose to provoke my brother.

"You know very well."

"Obviously we have two different views of what our situation is. I can make my own decisions, I choose when I'm ready, not you," I say in a dominate tone.

"If you are ready or not, it doesn't matter, the situation is complicated and we can't risk anything. It's better this way Sasuke," he says calmly leaving no room for argument.

"What would happen if he found out?" I ask simply.

"Separation," was my answer. There's no need for me to be upset, and I'm acting ridiculous. We have no time or need to fight over this. I suppose it's due to the stress, and the lack of alone time I have with my brother that I'm a little high strung. I can only imagine what kind of stress he's under. His mind must be working nonstop, working out every possible solution to our predicament. Though I feel left out, I can't help but wonder, is it in our best interest if I just let Itachi handle everything? I don't know, I suppose it's like Itachi had said, we'll deal with problems once they arise.

I can see how Itachi got to the solution of separation, once Kakashi is sure that something suspicious is going on under his roof, he'll try to stop it. After all, he's part of society, I can assume he may not look at us in a positive light. Then again, I've lived with Kakashi for so long, I have some doubts, and maybe Itachi is over thinking this too much. Could separation really occur?

I just want to be at peace, at peace with everything, and have no worries about being caught or anything like that. Finishing my glass of milk I put it in the sink, and walk over to my brother, who gets out of his chair as well, and leads me into the living room.

"It's best not to worry about it, we'll—"

"Deal with the problems once they arise," I finish the sentence for him. My brother gives me a nod.

"Doesn't' this all bother you?" I ask, just simply because I didn't want us to fall into a silence.

"Very much, but some things can't be helped. Not for the moment at least," he tells me in a monotone voice. Those words were simply beautiful, yet plain. I know how my brother feels about me but sometimes I need to be reassured, and that emptiness I've been feeling just seemed to get filled a little. I know now that it's there because I'm not getting enough of my brother. This secrecy thing doesn't give me an opportunity to have enough of him. As we sit in the living room, for once I do not turn on the TV, but instead sit very close to my brother who's opening a book. I rest my head on his shoulder, and read the same words he reads. If this annoyed my brother, he showed no sign of it. We finish ten pages, and I keep up with him, both of us keeping at the same reading speed.

It's a simple position we are in, being close not only in body but mind, for the same words of the book in front of us is running through our heads. There was a sense of danger again, that annoying yet existing danger of being caught. I try to ignore the feeling and just relax, indulge in this moment with my brother, such a simple moment. I feel Itachi's head slightly turn, causing me to lift my head a little, but I don't take my eyes off the page I finish reading. I wait a couple of minutes for Itachi to turn the page, but when the action does not come, I look questioningly at my brother, who only answers with a soft kiss upon my lips. There it was, that short shoot of adrenaline at the though that we could be caught. An at-ease feeling tried to take over, but it didn't succeed, and it completely shattered when the sound of the door opening echoed through my ears like the sound of a bomb hitting a peaceful hamlet.

I pull away from my sibling quickly, and sit up straight, obvious that I wasn't in the position just a few minutes ago. But my action was too delayed, and as Itachi slowly closed the book and set it on the table I knew we had been caught. I see Kakashi eyeing us suspiciously, and even though I was far from calm, I let my tense shoulder sag just a bit.

Itachi knew, and that's how I knew—from the look on his face—that it's over, separation was near, the problem had arisen. Kakashi walks toward the kitchen, in death silence. Once he reappears, one sentence leaves his lips.

"Itachi I need to speak to you, Sasuke go to your room," it was an order, not a request, but I pondered the idea of staying. After all, this concerns me too and I don't really understand why he just wants to speak to Itachi. Reluctantly though, I get to my feet and slowly, in no hurry, head up to my room. Or at least pretended to go to my room, because the moment I reached the top of the staircase I sat to see if I could hear some of the conversation. I could hear small mumbles of words, but I couldn't pinpoint what words they were. As I strain myself to hear, Kakashi raised his voice only a tad bit. He's not one to start yelling, but this only proves that he is very angry, and a worried feeling creeps into my gut. The emptiness inside seems to grow like it knows that separation is coming, and that it couldn't handle that. That I couldn't handle that, and that I would be completely consumed by the spreading ache of nothingness.

As Kakashi proves his point in a much louder voice—though a very bad omen—I can understand the words he's saying.

"I want you to stay away from Sasuke until then." The simple words 'Until then' made my heart jump and pound a thousand miles per minute. 'Until what?' I ask myself. I try to look down the stairs to see if Itachi was coming up, so that I can ask him. But I knew nothing good can come from such a sentence. The only sure thing it told me is that Kakashi wants Itachi to stay away from me, until something happens. The thought of maybe having a few more days or weeks together, but not being able to be near him was far more then aggravating.

The sound of footsteps break me out of my thoughts. Little geisha steps slowly drive Itachi forward towards the top. I frown, giving my brother the same expression he holds. I couldn't read his emotions in his eyes, but the atmosphere was dark. I figured he's trying to think, but I had to know what was said. Itachi lays eyes on me once he reaches the last steps, I had long since already gotten to my feet.

"Relocation," He says in a monotone voice, "Until then I'm expected to stay away from you."

"He can move you to another foster home, but I'll be damned if I stay away from you. What's the worst he can do?"

"Nothing, the worst is already done." There was a pause, "He didn't fully think out the punishment. He seems to expect me to obey and stay away from you. There's no guarantee how long it'll take him to find a new foster home for me, and there's no possibility that he can keep a watch on us twenty four seven." I nod, expecting Itachi to have more to say, his words bringing me a sort of hope and comfort, even if he is to leave. But no more words are said, and my brother walks to his room. I wanted so badly to follow, but I stopped myself from doing so. Why hadn't Kakashi called me down to talk to him? Why did he only talk to Itachi? On top of what was said between them, Itachi had only given me a summary really. What makes him so sure that we'll stay away from one another? Or does he just want Itachi to stay away from me? Why so much emphases on Itachi? I give a small sad smirk. I suppose he blames him…just as expected, they wouldn't understand. They'd turn it into something ugly, this love.

A/N: We are very close to an ending, and please do tell me how this chapter was. Sorry it took so long, I wrote pretty slowly and carefully. Please tell me your opinions, thank you.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: OMG I'm so sorry for the late update! I didn't even realize I was taking this long with writing the chapter. Well finally I finished it, sorry about the long wait. I had a sort of Sasuke block for a little while.

Chapter 19: Last moments of privacy

It's night, it's still, Kakashi had once again talked to Itachi. Once again leaving me out, this whole week he hasn't said anything about the situation to me, and it's really making me angry. Though I was able to find out from my eavesdropping that Kakashi has permitted Itachi to stay, seeing as how close his eighteenth birthday is. But sternly he announced the moment he turns eighteen he'd have to leave. On top of that, in a threatening voice, he orders my brother to stay away from me, and that he would be watching. True to his word Kakashi is watching. Which only adds to my irritation.

When Itachi is upstairs in his room Kakashi can be found in his own bedroom, the door open so that he may hear if Itachi leaves.

At the moment I'm waiting, though it's futile for me to do so. Kakashi is on high alert, even at night he leaves his door open so that he may hear possible sneaking around. I'm surprised he hasn't taken the lock off of Itachi's bedroom door. All I know is that it's summer and my heart aches, being so near to my brother yet unable to be with him. I crawl under my covers, and stare up at the ceiling. Really what is irritating me the most out of this is Kakashi's actions when it comes to me. What does he think is going on? What does he think this situation is, between me and Itachi? Since he doesn't seem to want to talk to me, he obviously blames Itachi for everything. That or he doesn't want to believe that I would actually allow or want such a thing. Such a wonderful thing that has been taken from me, and I want it back. Or at least I want to be acknowledged. My eyes widen and I sit up in my bed as I realize what it must be that Kakashi thinks is going on. Molestation, he thinks I'm being taken advantage of, being raped. Why do things have to be twisted into things like that? Why must everything be sick? I know I'm young but, it's not like I don't know what sex is and the gap between mine and Itachi's age isn't that great. I could understand someone coming to that conclusion if Itachi were twenty one, but he's not even eighteen yet.

A bitter emotion comes over me, and I can't help but scowl at the door as if hoping my displeasure would magically reach Kakashi's ear. If I were a girl and not related in anyway to Itachi would he still draw the same conclusion? No of course not, because that relationship has some sense of 'normality' to it. I suppose me pouting about it will do no good. I lay back and try to relax, but don't feel sleepy at all. I reach for my locket and fumble with it, in that familiar way. The fantasy of being in my aniki's arms plays through my mind. I clutch my locket tightly, as if it would close if I did so, of course it didn't. Tomorrow I'll demand an explanation from Kakashi, I'll confront him. Yes, and I'm not going to play the innocent act, it takes two to tango as they say.

It was after a very uncomfortable dinner that I decided to confront Kakashi. I don't want to be treated like this whole thing doesn't concern me, I mean it's honestly ridiculous how Kakashi seems to think that if a word of this is said to me all my innocence would be taken from me. He's already too late for that, both types of innocence, my sexual innocence and my child-like innocence. I think back, and wasn't Kakashi the one who tried to heal me after my parents' death? Tried to maybe bring back a little bit of my innocence, seeing as I was too young to lose it. I suppose it was taken from me a little early. Maybe he's trying to protect my innocence once more, therefore making Itachi look like a horrible villain for kissing me.

"You wanted to talk?" Kakashi asks, sitting next to me on the couch. Itachi gives me a passing glance as he heads for the stairs.

"Yeah," I nod, trying to get myself out of my thoughts. Eventually my attention is full on the situation at hand, and I find that I have no idea how to start. "What's going on?" Is all I can think of to say, and my voice came out sounding a little irritated.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't act stupid. You're going around lecturing Itachi and shit, and haven't once talked to me," I say it all in a calm voice that just didn't suit my face expression or the emotions inside of me. I was beyond annoyed. Itachi is so close but far away, Kakashi seems to be oblivious to the love I have for my brother, and it's all damn well starting to piss me off!

"Sasuke," he starts out sounding like he's talking to a five year old who might not understand what he's about to say. "Stay away from your brother. Some people are just sick, and can't function right in normal environments."

"Oh, so throwing a person who 'can't function right' out onto the streets at the age of eighteen is going to help," I say sarcastically. I'm not in a good mood, and I'm not going to be nice. I could care less if Kakashi only has good intentions, he should keep his nose out of mine and Itachi's business.

"Itachi is my responsibility until he's eighteen—"

"So I shouldn't be surprised if I get thrown out at eighteen?"

"No Sasuke. I'm doing this to protect you. He's taking advantage of you," he says. "You're too young to understand fully what's going on, this is wrong, when you're older—" It's funny, Kakashi used to have sympathy towards Itachi, wanting me to give him a second chance, build a bond with him. But now that the bond is something that Kakashi doesn't see as right, he wants to break it and his sympathy is out the window.

"Whatever," I mumble, before taking to the stairs. I couldn't stand to listen to that crap anymore. To be honest I just wanted to go into Itachi's room, and lock him and myself in it. Too young to understand…love knows no age, and it knows no gender. Yet I wonder, does it know no relatives either? No, it doesn't care, love will let you fall in love with anyone, it's nature and people that care, that will twist it and try to ruin it.

Kakashi's vacation days are used up— can you believe he went as far as to us up the few vacation dayshe has, just to make sure Itachi kept his distance? — and with that finally came some privacy. I could tell Kakashi was un-easy about leaving me alone with Itachi, but he had no other choice. He wasn't allowed to take me to work with him, and I doubted he had any other ideas of what he could do. Either way he tells me in the morning that I should keep my distance from Itachi and that if anything happens to tell him. He'd call every couple of hours to check up on me, he promised.

"Sasuke please don't give me that look. Tell me if anything happens. This isn't love, he can't love you. It's just like I said, you're too young to understand, he can't function right. Please just keep your distance," with that he's off, grabbing his car keys he leaves to head to work. I felt angry, Itachi can function just fine. Why is it that just because someone thinks differently from another or does things that others can't understand, that they are called weird and are kept away from the general population? The moment I was sure Kakashi was gone and too far down the street to be coming back, I go up to Itachi's room. I give him a smirk, and come to sit next to him on the bed.

"I'm so aggravated. Kakashi makes it sound like you're some sick pervert," I tell him. He closes the book he was reading and gives me all his attention. I smile, but it doesn't last long. "What will you do when he throws you out?" I ask with worry.

"My inheritance should cover my college tuition, and I should have plenty left over for a down payment on an apartment, and a couple weeks rent." He tells me with confidence.

"What college will you attend?" I ask, wondering if his choice will take him far away from me.

"I applied for some colleges, mostly in state. But I was also looking at the local college here," he says. I want him to attend the local college, but I don't say anything, after all I want Itachi to get the best. Going to a state collage will look better on a job application then a local college. I hadn't noticed that I let out a sigh until Itachi spoke. "I would have left for collage once I was eighteen anyway," he tells me.

"Yeah but this just frustrates me," I tell him.

"I wanted to get custody over you," he tells me. "Once I had an apartment and a job, and was enrolled in part time classes," he tells me. I smile, and rest my head on his shoulder.

"You can still try."

"If Kakashi can prove that we had more then a brotherly relationship, I wouldn't be granted custody over you. On top of that I could go to jail. But I don't really see how Kakashi can prove so. Yet even the mention of it could make the court second-guess my intentions. Also with my having been in an insane asylum, and my medical record is hard to over look. They'll probably come to the conclusion that I'm not a suitable guardian," he explains. I sadden, and just close my eyes to let his words sink in. Being so close to him and being able to talk to him is pure heaven.

"What do you mean you could go to jail?"

"I found out what we're doing is wrong in the eyes of others, so much so that it is punishable by law. Of course me being the elder, I'd be the one sentenced. They'll come much to the same conclusion Kakashi has. That I tricked you, took advantage of you, and so forth."

"Oh," I say, somewhat concerned. Would Kakashi go as far as send Itachi to jail? "I have a say in who I want to live with," I tell him as an after thought.

"If you want to be put through court sessions, I can still try to be granted custody." I sit and think, looking at all the pros and cons. The thought of being separated from Itachi was horrible. But there was a risk. If Kakashi could prove our relationship was more than brotherly, or even if I slip and say something wrong when I explain why I would rather live with my brother, he could be put in jail. He'd be taken away from me for I don't know how many years. Then the stress I would put on Itachi if he did become my guardian. After all balancing a job and school isn't easy, I wouldn't want to be an extra financial burden. By the time Itachi would have finished up four years of college, I myself will be looking at colleges to enroll in.

"No it's fine," I tell him softly.

"Are you sure Sasuke?" I look up into dark eyes, he didn't want to leave me as much as I didn't want him to leave. I give him a smile and lean in to touch his lips with mine. There was no time to be shy, it seems, since our tongues were quickly coming together in a dangerous and supposedly sinful dance. I let out a moan, as I feel Itachi's hand on my cheek, tilting my head up just enough to dive his tongue into my mouth further. As our kiss gets deeper, my mind gets hazier with lust. The thought of being with my brother bodily was very appealing at the moment. I start to unbutton my brothers black silk shirt. The sound of the chains on his black and red embroidered pants told me he was helping me undress him. Soon after, those same pants were discarded on the floor. Then my shirt and pants followed suit.

At that moment we are interrupted by the phone ringing, I pick up, catching my breath before speaking. "Hello?" I question casually and it was as expected Kakashi, checking up on me. I reassure him I'm fine, lying to him when I say I'm downstairs looking through movies I may want to watch, and that Itachi's been in his room the whole time. Kakashi doesn't seem to be put any more at ease, but he does let me get off the phone. The momentary byes are exchanged, I turn off the phone and give my attention once again to Itachi. Just one last peck on the lips, and then we both reach for our cloths on the floor. The mood was ruined, with Kakashi's interruption. Still however, we both lay on the bed, I was happy to use Itachi as a pillow, and he didn't seem to mind.

"Why does he look at me like I'm too young to understand? I know perfectly well what I'm doing. You didn't trick me in any way."

"It's the only way he can understand Sasuke," Itachi tells me softly. I suppose it made sense. After all, it's just like what Itachi said once before. It's a natural human instinct to be afraid of what you can't understand. Too many people can't understand us, this. But they have no right to make it any of their business. The next minutes are quiet, neither of us feeling like talking. Instead we just lie close to one another. Soon this will all be gone. I won't be able to see my brother around the house. It may even be four years before I see him again. The future seems so unclear, and once again I feel the fear of the unknown. But for now, I simply listen to my brother's heartbeat. I close my eyes to relax.

My peace was soon interrupted once more by a phone call. "Hello?" I knew it was Kakashi on the other end.

"Sasuke I have some good news," he says. Which I highly doubt.

A/N: A little cliffhanger. Please leave reviews. And hopefully it won't take me too long to update again.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: So here comes my long winded excuses of why I haven't been updating, for anyone who's interested, any who's not then let me just say It short, I AM SO SORRY! So a friend and me are working on a youtube project that is entitled Naruto South: The days of our lives, which took up some time, with the planing out and the editing and everything. I also have been shopping for cosplay Akastuki cloaks, and my birthday was and event that took up time along with the party of another persons birthday party which I went too. Then of course driving lessons and I've been writing other stories that aren't' fanfic related in hopes that I will get them published. Well that's why I haven't been updating so frequently, I'm very sorry.

Chapter 20: The short moments we have

I waited for Kakashi to tell me the 'good' news. "Iruka has agreed to watch you, so you'll be spending most of your summer with Naruto," he says sounding relieved that he doesn't have to worry about Itachi and me. I wanted to yell at him, to scream and voice my outrage, to tell him how ridicules this all was. But what point would there be yelling over the phone? I'll wait for him to come home, and talk to him then. I want to be able to spend the last days I do have with Itachi at home here with him.

"What is it?" Itachi asks.

"Kakashi wants me to spend the day with a friend of mine until you're gone," I tell my brother. Seeking comfort I cuddle close to him, we stay silent. Who knows when I'll be able to hold my brother like this again? No matter how much I complain to Kaakshi I have a feeling that I'll be forced to go to Iruka, but I'm not going down with out a fight. Maybe there's a slight chance that I can convince Kakashi other wise.

When it was close to the time Kakashi would be coming home I went down stairs so that I cold meet him, and talk to him. I'm not a child, I know what I'm doing, I know what I'm feeling. I can't see the point of me talking to him, would it be considered a miracle if I could convince him into understanding my point of view? Maybe there is no point behind my wanting to speak with my guardian, the irritation that sits inside of me won't let me be. It's telling me to talk to Kakashi, even if nothing will change, the point is I would have been heard. I would have spoken and been heard, even if nothing good will come out of it, I need to be heard.

The front door is being unlocked, and I star at it in wait for him to enter. Quickly running the words I want to say threw my head. They came and went so quickly that I couldn't understand but pieces of them, but I knew the moment I open my mouth my speech will flow. His eyes land on me and for a moment time seemed to stop.

"Is there something Sasuke?" He ask studying my face, he knows all to well there is something on my mind.

"You were the one who said to give Itachi a chance, you told me to give him a chance," I say in a low voice. "Now that I have and it's gone beyond what you consider normal everything must be aborted. I have to be kept away from him. Well I'm not going to Iruka's tomorrow or any other day! I'm staying right here until Itachi turns eighteen!"

"Sasuke you're going to go for your own good. I already told you…I don't know how you went from disliking your brother to…to this. But can't you see how it's affecting you?"

"I can see how your interference in my business is affecting me!"

"I'm not going to ague with you. You were left in my care, and the title of minor is still on your head. Which indicates you are too young to properly make a lot of decisions for yourself. You're going to Iruka's tomorrow."

"I maybe a minor but I know what I'm doing! No matter what you do now it's not going to change that I love Itachi…." It was that simple phrase that had Kakshi looking at me with pity. The look confused me. But once he finally spoke with a sad shake of his head, I knew that my speech had meant nothing to him.

"I already told you I'm not arguing with you, go up to your room, and be ready to be dropped off at Iruka's in the morning." He says with a sigh. For a moment I simply sat there glaring at my guardian. Then I do as I was told and head towards my room. Upon reaching my door I look at Itachi's door which is slightly ajar. With a disobeying thought flickering threw my mind, I go into my brother's room, and lock the door behind me. It's Kakashi's own fault for not taking of the lock, if he's already being so extreme he should have thought of doing so as well.

Itachi gives me a knowing look, which held no pity, but only apology. He was not apologizing for the trouble he was causing, he was simply apologizing for the fact that the situation cannot be helped. A sort of look that gives me comfort and I walk over to my brother, who had by now predicted I wanted to be in his arms. I go to sit in front of him, resting my head on his shoulder. He simply laid his hand ontop of my head, and I start to fumble with my locket. There was silence, and there was a thought in my head I couldn't entirely comprehend until I spoke it out loud to my brother.

"Lets run away," I mumble, and Itachi's hand drops down no longer on my head.

"Impossible little brother," He tells me. I knew it was, but at the moment I really want to run away be far away from anyone and anything. I just want to believe, to float in the delusion for just a moment that possibly us running away together would lead to a happy ending. Of course Itachi didn't let me have false hope, he didn't want to encourage such a thing. He simply says the truth or what is logical to him. But why can't this be a fairy tale. Like the ones people use to believe were true, were fairy godmothers would help you escape an unwanted situation. Possibly I over reacting, maybe I'm being silly. But if I can't live in false hope at the moment then let me at least have the joy of my misery. Even if it may not seem like torture to anyone else, the thought of losing Itachi now…after all we have built up is unbearable.

"Sasuke I know you're in there, unlock the door and go to your room," Kakashi says in an all to calm of a voice. I didn't want to leave, but Itachi pushed me off of him, telling me to obey Kakashi. With a kiss upon my forehead I'm sent to the door, Itachi's face expression never changing as he urged me to leave. Once again I wonder what Itachi is thinking. Of course I can read some of his expressions and am more skilled in translating them then most. But now it seems like his face really is blank, and he leaves me with nothing, but that kiss upon my forehead. I unlock the door and go to my room, feeling eyes follow me. Was running away really such an impossible task? No I'm simply being foolish, Itachi's right. We would have police following use, because I'm sure Kakashi would report me missing.

The next day I practically awoke with a scowl on my face. Kakashi seemed to ignore it not caring, not saying much of anything to me because he knew the wrong word could start an argument, which is something he didn't want to get into at the moment. None the less silently I was forced to occupy the passengers seat, and watch as the building that held my brother in it disappeared from my grasp. Soon he will disappear from my grasp completely.

Upon reaching the place were I will stay until Kakashi's workday is over, I was greeted by my blond friend. Naruto seemed so happy to see me, I couldn't say that I had the same expression on my face, but it wasn't the boy's fault, he didn't know what was going on.

"It's kinda weird that you're staying here man, I though you were starting to get along with your brother. Now all of a sudden you can't even stand to be around him for the time Kakashi is gone?" He says, obviously this begin the story that Iruka gave him, the reason that would explain why I'm here. I don't think I would want it any other way. I doubt that Naruto would understand how I feel about Itachi now, I don't think many people would understand. It's part of human nature, I suppose, we sometimes understand so little, and do not always listen when someone says, ''put yourself in their shoes'. My friend leads me inside, a concerned look upon his face as he notices my expression and my lack of a response to what he had said earlier. Iruka and Kakashi seem to be having a small conversation like most adults always seem to have. I wouldn't be surprised if I am the topic of their conversation.

Once we were in Naruto's room and Iruka had come back inside having finished talking to Kakashi who was now driving off, my friend asks, "So what happened?"

"What do you mean?" I question in a monotone voice.

"Why are you here all of a sudden, like I had said, I though you were getting along better with Itachi."

"It's nothing, Kakashi just thinks it would be better if we weren't' around each other," Naruto wasn't stupid and he gave me a look and a lift of an eyebrow, which stated that. But I didn't give him anymore information, and Naruto let it drop, for now at least. I really don't want to tell him everything. I still strongly believe that my relationship with Itachi is my business…our business. After all Kakashi as stuck his nose in our business and look were that has lead. For the whole rest of the day Naruto tried to get that scowl off of my face, but he didn't succeed and I could see the worry in his blue eyes. He knew something was wrong, he knew that there was more to the story then anyone has told him, yet even if he was clue less and an idiot sometimes he knew better then to push me for answers. I didn't want to talk, and he knew this.

Once Kakashi came to pick me up everything was silent. Though I felt some sort of happiness knowing that my Aniki would be at home, maybe waiting for me. Even if we will not get any privacy, I can at least see him. The though brought some comfort, as I stepped out of the car and up to the door, there was a tinge of happiness. But this only resulted to be torture, being so close to my brother, yet unable to have a moment alone. I couldn't hold him, he couldn't hold me, we couldn't' as much as talk.. Or at least it felt like we couldn't talk, because every time our eyes meet there was a silence and I knew we could both feel the watchful eyes of Kakashi upon us. What could we say? What was there left to say, accept for the eventual good bye.

It was on the third day of this routine that Naruto had finally gotten enough of being in the dark. I no longer held a scowl but a sort of empty sad expression, and Naruto had had enough of it. "What's going on Sasuke!" He yells at me, and I only close my eyes and slowly shake my head. Naruto calms down only a little bit, but I know he's still bothered. "What did your brother do?' He asks, automatically assuming this is all Itachi's fault. I continue to say nothing. Naruto lets out a sigh, it sounded like he was going to give up, but instead he went on.

"Did he do something to cause flash backs or something? What happened sasuke, stop keeping crap bottled up and let me help you for gods sake!"

"It's nothing you can help with Naruto, so just shut up," I say curtly. My friend did stop speaking but instead gave me a hard look, and just shook his head in pity. How does he think he can help? Naruto kept staring at me, a new approach to getting an answer. And indeed it did aggravate me that he was staring at me. I'm watched at home after all, I don't need eyes burning a whole into me here too. I glare at my friend, silently commanding him to stop his annoying gawking.

"How do you know I can't help?"

My angry eyes continue to warn him, "You just can't so let it drop," I hiss out. Naruto reluctantly let the subject drop.

The days started to pass agonizingly fast, the clock ticking away every single minute that I couldn't have spent with my brother. But his presents was still there, it was pure tutor knowing soon he would no longer be in my reach. I don't want to let him go. Can't I even have one last moment with him? On last private meeting, where maybe I can be reassured that we will meet again. That he will find me. After all four years will pass, and I'll go to my own college, how will he find me? Every passing night I though of a way to get close to him one last time. The though of somehow escaping Iruka's house and going to him, was so appealing. Then the though of running away all together was such a nice fantasy, sadly one that Itachi would never fulfill with me. Because after all it would be hard for us, if I did indeed run away with him. I just wish, somehow that I could see him privately one last time and here of his plan. I know he has one. I know he has a plan to find me when those four years pass, but…I don't know it, and I don't want to be left in the dark.

Naruto saw my growing unhappiness, and with concern tried to reach out to me. But I would only swat him away. He couldn't help, no matter how many times he told me he could, he just couldn't. If I told him what was going on, he wouldn't even try to help me; I know. But that doesn't matter because there's nothing he could do even if he wanted to. Even if he didn't find my love for my brother utterly wrong. I looked at the calendar having been in a daze I hadn't really kept up with the passing time. And today was the last day my brothers presence would be in the house, his birthday. Naruto was so confused, when he saw me only get darker with depression when I looked at the calendar. I isolated myself, and tuned out my friend. I hardly even noticed when the doorbell rang and Kakashi called for me, saying that is was time to go.

I got up ever so slowly, as if my slow pass would stop the inevitable. Kakashi seemed to be phased a little by my expression, and I wonder if he was regretting his actions. If he saw now, that I'm not some stupid child that got tricked into believing that he loved his brother, but that I truly hold strong feelings for my Aniki. When we finally reached the front door of our home, I had a little bit of hope. That maybe I could see Itachi one last time as he leaves. But a heaviness came over me as I enter the quiet home. I turn to Kakashi, glaring at him.

"It's for the best…he's gone now," he tells me looking into my eyes. I felt nothing but anger nothing but hatred. I was angry at Itachi, for not even giving me a chance to say good bye, and it seemed that I held some hatred toward Kakashi, because it was all his fault. I was isolated, I had no chance to say goodbye, and I don't even know how I will even meet him again, and I blame Kakashi. Why don't people understand? Why don't they put themselves in others shoes, like they always say you should? It should be considered that if you don't understand something you should leave it alone, and not ruin it. I head up stairs, looking at the room were my brother had stayed. I lean on the window seal and look outside, my fingers drifting over the glass.

"I only hope I'll see you again," I whisper to myself as if trying to provide myself with some comfort. It's not like I could get any reassurance from anyone else. I hold on to my locket tightly, trying to convince myself that he will. That Itachi will come back for me. But I couldn't help but think of myself trapped, and I think back to all the times Itahi had called our old family life a kingdom, and my wishes of a fairy tale solution to our problem. Was I a subject or a prince? A prince who is now trapped in a tower, waiting for his prince to come take him away, to come save him like he did before. I open my locket and gaze at the pictures it holds inside, "But I suppose not all fairytales have happy endings," I whisper to myself.

A/N: So this is the last real 'chapter', but there is a high likely hood that I will make an epilogue, to answer some of the questions that have come up, and to tie everything together and such. But I warn you, I'm not very good at endings, as u may already see, since this 'ending chapter' isn't that great.


	21. Chapter 21

Nearly four years later

Epilogue

I never did forget, but I wonder how long does a princess have to be locked up until she gives up some hope. I finger my locket, opening and closing it, until finally looking at the pictures it holds inside. I was surprised when my bedroom door opened and a voice greets me.

"Come on Sasuke don't ditch prom! Why not take that girl Sakura?" Naruto tells me making himself at home on my bed. I give him a bored glare, which he only grins at. "Or I can always hook you up with Hintata's cousin," he chuckles.

"I don't think so," I mumble. Naruto is taking a friend of his named Hintata to the prom, on the count that the poor girl almost fainted when she asked him, and he had no one else to go with. Me on the other hand…I don't want to be around a bunch of young couples that take their partner for granted, or that are simply dating the week before the prom so that they are assured they have a date. I'd rather sit here and wait for something, anything to happen, wait for any sign of a dark knight in black armor. All I've been focused on is getting excepted into a college not finding a date for the prom.

"Sasuke, the prom will be great! I mean what are u gonna tell your kids later on in life? Oh, I never went to the prom at my school, so I missed out on the best and probably last activity of my teenage life." The blonde went on. I ignored him, for years now Naruto's been trying to get me to lighten up. To focus on a social life, which seems to be so important. It's not to me, only one person is important….I don't need a large group of friends. Naruto is still in the dark about me and my brother, he's never really brought Itachi up, no one has really. It's as if he never even came into our lives, but I know better, and I won't forget. I tuck my locket under my shirt to rest on my bare chest, and turn to my friend.

"I just don't want to go to the prom," I tell him.

Naruto saddens and gets off my bed, " Come on, just take Sakura or that blonde chick…Ino, I think. It's just a prom date it's not like it's a commitment, just go and have some fun." With that Naruto leaves, to let me think about the proposal. I really don't wish to go, how would I have fun with those two mindless girls? I thirst for an intimate conversation, only Itachi can give me. A light knock sounds through my room and this time I come face to face with Kakashi. I've stopped hating him, being the bigger man I put myself in his shoes. His passed actions were executed out of love and protection, so I suppose I can't hate him. It could just be my imagination, but Kakashi when he looks at me always give me a sort of apologetic look. He's seen how I've changed ever since Itachi left, and I had no chance to say goodbye, I wonder if he regrets it all, if he understand me just a little better, or at least attempted to. But then again it's to late isn't' it? I have no clue were my dear Aniki is, or what happened to him, or if he's moved on…

"Sasuke there's a letter for you. It's from some corporation. Maybe they're inviting you to become an apprentice or something," He tells me handing me the letter. "I think it would be better for you to go to collage instead of learn to work right away." I take the letter from him, and he leaves shuffling through other pieces of mail. I look at the envelope. Why would a business be interested in me? I open the envelope and pull out the letter inside. On top of the letter was the company's name.

It read:

Akatuki Inc. 

And a red cloud was next to it. I've never even heard of such a business, but I go on to read the letter.

Dear Sasuke,

Four years were lost, a period of darkness. But in that darkness there was light, which needed to be built up, though I wonder if you saw that light. But I've built a situation of hope that shines to reach out for you. Have you forgotten? Do you honestly think I would leave you behind?

Akatsuki, a company that produces environmentally friendly products. Such as cars and fuel, you won't believe how profitable the business is. Though I'm not the soul owner of this business, I do have a very good income. By now you are looking at colleges are you not? I am not here to discourage you from that, actually I wish for you to go to a college just as I did, though I hope you do not struggle with student loans and part time jobs as I did. But that you are put threw college comfortable, and that instead of a dorm you choose to come and stay with me. I do not live to far away from the State College, which I'm sure you have applied for.

Akatsuki Inc., is only going to continue growing as the fear of global warming and the impact we are having on the environment rises. We have hardly any competition, and have made a name for ourselves. I will be able to support us both for the time you are in college no worries. I hope to see you again my little brother. And I can't help but wonder how much you have grown, and how sharp you've become. I must admit in the time apart, I have become bored, and fallen into a routine, only longing for you to come break it. Yet I was patient and waited. Have you waited for me as well? I have no doubt in my mind you still were that locket around your neck. I wish to talk to you in person, and give you my address once we meet. For I cannot be sure if indeed you got this letter or if it was kept away from you. So meet me in front of the public library on Saturday at noon, and shall we spend the day together? I will be in town for a short time, so I hope to see you there.

With Regard, Itachi

I look at the letter unbelieving. I re-read it one more time before letting a small smile tug at my lips. It almost seemed like a miracle, but how could I have doubted that Itachi? I should have known he'd reach me some how. Even making sure to disguise the letter by making it look as though the company sent it out, and it wasn't personal.

I tuck the letter into a drawer on my night stand. Looking at the calendar there was no need to mark the date, I wouldn't forget it. This Saturday I'll see my brother again. I happily fumble with my locket and lay back on my bed just gazing at the ceiling. I try to recall what it felt like to be in my brother's nearness, but I'm sure my mind as made it ten times more exciting then it was back then. The few days standing between me and Saturday seemed like a long barrier I would not have any patience for crossing, instead wishing to get rid of it quickly.

My eyes open to behold soft light coming into my room. I turn and look at my calendar and decided that today there was a need for looking my best. After all today is Saturday and I have a date at the library, so to say. I walk up to my closet, and look at the many cloths I've come to own. I pull out a navy blue turtleneck, which had no sleeves, but a nice design of line woven into the material. I also pull out from my sock drawer a pair of wrist warmers, along with socks of course. My pants, pure white jeans that hung on me loosely but snug enough not to fall. Once I had pulled on all these cloths, I added one more accessory, a white tie that I loosely looped around my neck. A little silver tie clip in the shape or a small ghostly flame was also clipped on. Then of course my locket was tucked under my shirt safely resting on my chest.

I look at the clock in the hallway as I approach the staircase. I had slept most of the day away, and once I have breakfast I should start heading for the library, though I maybe a little early. I fell exited though you wouldn't be able to tell from my face expression. I calmly eat my small breakfast, while Kakashi was in the living room watching something on TV. Once I finish I rinse off my dishes, and grab my car keys before heading towards the door. I wasn't surprised when my guardian stopped me.

"Were are you heading to," he questions, just like anyone would.

"Just to the library," I tell him and he gives me a sound of approval. I open the door and walk up to my small car, which Kakashi had gotten me, I had promised once I can tap into my inheritance I would give him half of the amount of the vehicle, because I know he's not exactly a wealthy man.

I stood in front of the library, waiting. Like I predicted I got there just a little bit early. But it seemed like I was waiting forever, for Itachi to show up. Yet every time I looked at my watch it says only seconds have passed. I start to wonder if maybe I was suppose to meet him inside. I look at my feet, going over what the letter had said. He said meet me in front of the library, therefore the front would indicate outside. I reassure myself. I take out my locket and play with it nervously, looking at it, to try and calm myself down. I had fear that I'm not standing in a spot were I'm visible, thought that is ridiculous since I'm right between the two glass double doors that lead inside the building. But crazy thoughts seemed to be having there fun, making me nervous. As these thoughts ran threw my mind a pair of polished black shoes stand in front of mine. I look up and see familiar eyes, which held wise lines underneath them. There was a short moment of breathlessness.

"Itachi," I didn't hide my happiness. But I did refrain from hugging or kissing my dear brother. I didn't want to make a scene, and I was always against public displays of affection.

"It's nice to see you again, little brother." I looked him over he was dressed very nicly, yet casually. With a burgundy silk button up shirt, and black slacks. Of course his hair was in that familiar ponytail he always wore. It was almost unbelievable having him right here in front of me. My heart seemed to wrench in pain as if just now realizing how hard it has been waiting for him to come, take me away from my prison tower.

"I wish you wouldn't have just left. Without saying goodbye," I tell him recalling how I felt when I become conscious of the fact that my brother had left without a word; those many years ago.

"There was no need for good-byes. A goodbye signals the end of something."

The end

**A/N**: I wanted this prologue to be short, and kinda open. It was simply here to show that they haven't forgotten about each other, and that there's a happy ending. I also wanted to be able to put out a first chapter of a story along with this prologue. However that multi-chapter story turned into a oneshot. And I didn't want to follow this up with a one shot. However keep your eyes open for another up coming AU from me, with the title _"The Crow's Crimson Aviary",_ which is not the one shot i had been woring on but rather a multi-chapter story (which is more to my liking. I just don't like to write oneshots that much)


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